Double Standard
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Manny cheats on her boyfriend while in LA. When everyone finds out, she is tagged as a slut again. Alex is hurt by Gianni,then runs to Jay, who is with Emma. Ellie is pushed to the edge. Alex tries to avoid her mom's footsteps. Spin-off preview INSIDE!
1. Default Chapter

Double standard

By: Nicole Lopez

(A/N: Since I like own fictional character, Gianni so much, I decided to make him a reappearing character in some of my stories. All of the other people belong to the makers of Degrassi, but Marco's brother is mine!)

Summary: Manny cheats on her boyfriend while in LA, continuing her dancing career. When everyone finds out, she is tagged as a slut again. Gianni is juggling two girls, as usual while Hazel and Jimmy decide to take their relationship to the next level. Oh the drama!

I Can't Believe You Had the Nerve to Say the Things You Said

"Are you gonna introduce me to the latest boyfriend or am I going to have to hear about it from the guys?" Gianni asked Manny who trying to get away from him. Somehow, he always knew how to get on her nerves, yet she took it and this was rare because she didn't take crap from anyone. Not anymore since … well since she went from a pretty princess to a skanky slut.

"It's not like it matters anyway." Manny closed her locker door. "It's just some guy that my mom keeps bringing back into my life. It's not like I even care, I'm just trying to make her happy." She admitted as the very guy she was talking about walked up to them.

"Manny." Kiowi smiled, taking her hand in his. "I just stopped by to …" His voice trailed off as he looked over at Gianni.

"You know my friend, don't you?" Manny wondered, avoiding Gianni's smirk. So he'd actually caught her being charmed by someone else, actually caring about someone.

"Kiowi." He introduced himself as Gianni lifted his chin in response.

"I'll see you later Santos." He stalked off, smiling as Kiowi embraced Manny warmly, placing a rose into her hand.

"What's this for?" Manny wondered in between a huge smile.

"For someone I love."

"This is a big step you know." Jimmy began as Hazel continued packing her things.

"I know and my parents totally don't get it at all. You need someone to be there for you Jimmy, to take care of you until you get better." Hazel began, looking over at her boyfriend who had been paralyzed by a shooting that had happened less than five months ago.

"And what if I don't get better?" He asked, touching her hand softly, momentarily stopping her from packing.

"Don't say stuff like that. You're going to get better. The said that people usually recover from stuff like this and that in 80 of the cases paralysis is temporary." Hazel reassured herself, not wanting to think about the kind of life they would have if he was only half of what he once was.

"I know you want to help Hazel, but I can manage. I'm fine."

"And what about when you try to go upstairs or take a shower. Who's going to help you?" She shot back.

"Oh. Now I get it. You want to chill at my place so you can see me naked. Is that it?" Jimmy joked, as Hazel cracked a little smile.

"No … but I _am _moving in."

"It's not like it means anything." Gianni mocked Manny as soon as he saw her after 6th period.

"Shut up. You wouldn't understand if I told you." She answered, lightly pushing him away.

"No, I can't believe that you actually fell in love with someone." He responded.

"So, I'm just supposed to sit around and rod while every one else gets romanced? Yeah right." Manny pulled her shades out of her bag. "That is so not the life for me."

"Yeah, well I'm not going to have some chick thinking I'm going to be all romantic and shit with her. We're in high school. It's not supposed to be serious." Gianni declared as Ellie walked up to him.

"So, you're coming tonight right?" She wondered, her eyes pleading with Gianni. He looked back and forth between Ellie and Manny, who had become instantly interested to what was going on.

"Yeah." He smiled. "If I can make it." Gianni added, just to show that he was in charge.

"I know my parents are going to love you." Ellie gave him a quick kiss before smiling at Manny and walking off.

"Don't even say it." Gianni mumbled when they were out of earshot.

"I'm not about to be all romanced and shit." Manny mocked. "You are so full of it Gi. You so played yourself back there." She laughed.

"I'm not the one melting into someone else's arms. It's just dinner." He answered as they walked over to her car.

"Just dinner? With parents? Yeah right." Manny unlocked the car.

"So, you're coming to play some ball with me later?"

"Baseball? Do I look like I'd ever play baseball? It's so grimy." Manny complained, even though she loved it.

"Four. In the park." He called back behind him, knowing that she would show up. She always did. "One!" Gianni added, running through the parking lot to see if he could find Ellie. They had some serious talking to do about … addressing him in public. Alex might have seen.

(A/N: I like this story so far, and I hope you have some comments for me. I don't mind criticism if it is constructive. And if you've read my stories in the past, I always have grammar mistakes. So tell me something worthwhile so I know someone is reading! –NL … don't you just love Gianni as a regular Degrassi character?)


	2. They Hurt So Bad

They Hurt So Bad that They Ended Our Relationship

(A/N: The other Degrassi characters are so … set in their personalities and I like to write about the minorities since they get so little air time on the real show. Just read and review and if you're confused, tell me why or where you got confused so I can fix it! –NL)

"Do you think you brought enough stuff?" Jimmy complained, noticing that his living room was quickly starting to resemble a storage closet.

"I don't know how long I'm going to be staying here and I want to be comfortable here." Hazel explained while dragging her last bag into the house.

"I don't know what the big deal is. You know I could get you anything you wanted." Jimmy offered as Hazel sat down on the couch next to him. She looked at her boyfriend, in his wheelchair, thinking how unfair it was that something like this had to happen to him. It was all Spinner's fault and everyone knew it. A real friend wouldn't let another friend be hurt like that.

"I know we're going to get through this." She whispered to herself with a sigh.

"If your parents ever relax." Jimmy joked.

"Have you talked to them?" Hazel jumped suddenly, caught off guard by his situation.

"It's fine." She lied. "I should start unpacking though." She forced her exhausted body off the couch and up the stairs, carrying a small blue duffel over her shoulder.

"Come on! I know you can hit better than that!" Manny yelled, running into the park watching Gianni swing just under the ball.

"What are you doing here?" He called back towards her, dropping the bat and running over to you. "I thought you'd be making out with Kiowi in the corner or something."

"No." Manny shook her head "I'd probably be getting him to propose." She shot back.

"Before moving on to some other guy." Gianni joked.

"Haha. There's nothing wrong with have more than one boyfriend every year. You'll never know if you've found the right one if you don't look around for something better." Manny smiled.

"Even if it makes you a whore?" Gianni wondered, pushing her buttons.

"You were one first. Your bad habits have rubbed off of me." Manny joked, pulling off her pants, revealing bright red so fee shorts.

"See, that's exactly what I mean. You do stuff like that to distract the guys." Gianni explained.

"I do not." Manny started to take off her jacket and then decided against it. "As if you don't do the same." Manny added as Gianni spotted two girls walking across the park, waving to him.

"Now she is hot." He smiled.

"You are such a man whore. Is sex all you think about?"

"And baseball." Gianni smiled.

"Which I am so gonna kick your ass in."

(A/N: Sorry to do this, but I am trying a different style of writing for this part, so tell me if you like it or prefer dialog.)

Gianni walked into a quaint, small, yet comfortable home. Pictures of Ellie and her parents surrounded the room as Mr. and Ms. Nash greeted him eagerly. Everyone was all smiles as Gianni handed over one of his mother's homemade bottles of wine. That was the first sign. Ellie and her father paused and looked around, panicky not wanting to allow a chance for Ms. Nash to abuse the substance which had once consumed her every thought. With plastered smiles on his faces, Mr. Nash grabbed the bottle quickly, thrusting s look over at Ellie, which seemed to ask "What kind of guy are you bringing home?"

Nervous and definitely affected by the mini-scene that had just happened before them, Ellie clung to Gianni's hand as if she were breathing her last breath of air before being washed over by an angry sea. Still oblivious to what was going on, Gianni blindly followed her into the kitchen. Bowing their heads for prayer, which had never been done until Ms. Nash entered alcoholic anonymous and started a twelve-step program, Ellie could only hope that things would only get better.

Knowing that last night, her parents were having serious marriage issues, which was the exact stress that lead to an alcoholic relapse, Ellie looked to Gianni for comfort. He smiled, in his charming little way, winning her parents over to a certain degree. Yet, they still didn't want to give their "baby" up, much less to someone who had just brought in some wine. As the atmosphere relaxed, Ellie began to notice how Gianni had a dimple on his right cheek, not one of those dimples that consumed one's entire face and made them stand out, but a sort of subtlety that she loved about him.

Everything was going smoothly until Gianni brought up the wine, taking it upon himself to open it and pour some for both of her parents. At that moment, Ellie felt like an idiot. If she had only told him about her mother's addiction, he would've brought something normal like … flowers, something that never caused any harm or broke families apart, leaving children permanently scarred.

Mr. Nash kept a close eye on his wife, ensuring that she drank other liquids like water instead, but as soon as his phone rang, he too was off. It was as though in an instant, he had replaced his former job in the military with his previous office job. As usual, family came last. Once he turned his back to his wife, Ms. Nash lifted the glass towards her lips, maybe unintentionally, or out of habitat, or maybe by some odd delusion, she thought that she could handle just one glass of wine.

Ellie stared, in horror, unable to stop it as though a couple thousand pounds of lead her stuck to her gawky feet. One glass of wine turned into two as Ms. Nash began to resemble her former self. In a fit of rage, knowing that she had to do something, Ellie smashed the bottle too the ground, but it was too late. The damage had been done. With a face-to-face cuss-out and a slap across the face, Gianni knew that Ellie's world was less than perfect and that she was … broken. Partially embarrassed, and partially feeling helpless, Ellie ran from the scene of the crime with Gianni chasing after her.

He tried to hold her and tell her that everything would be fine, but Ellie knew it wouldn't. Gianni only knew half of the story because Ellie had learned that no one really wanted to know everything about you. They liked the mystery about not knowing that someone and when they did find out about you … they left. Like Sean had and like her dad did every time duty called.

So, with the slam of the door, Gianni was locked out of Ellie's life, for the time being. Without so much as a pause, Gianni rushed out of the front door not understanding why a perfect evening had gone so sour. There was only one thing left to do, he thought, picking up the phone and calling Alex. He was going to be able to see her after all … he'd just be a little late.

(A/N: Sorry to put an author's note in the middle of the story, but I didn't want you guys to think that it was too random. I decided to try more of a narrative style because dialog all the time is boring to me … anyways tell me what you think and what you want more of (or don't want more of.) Thanks so much to those that have reviewed thus far … I know who you are and thank you! –NL)


	3. I Can't Believe it

Can't Believe it

"Where the hell have you been?" Alex asked Gianni, as he came into view of the Centre, a part of her neighborhood. "I almost left." She pushed Gianni up against the side of the building, brushing his face lightly.

"I had business to take care of." He hugged her tightly replacing all thoughts of Ellie with Alex. Sometimes when things got too real with Ellie, he needed a down ass chick like Alex to help remind him what life was all about. Fun.

"It was Ellie wasn't it?" Gianni looked away as Alex began to get more and more angry. "I'm really sick and tired of having to share you with her. Why do you stay with her when she's nothing but an old lady. Miss Doom and Gloom." She continued to argue.

"Let's not talk about Ellie." Gianni kissed Alex forcefully. When their lips parted, she gave him as slight smile, handing over a plastic bag filled with the marijuana she'd stolen from her brother for him. "Thanks." Gianni whispered, following Alex into the Centre, folding his hands into her pockets.

"Where you going?" He wondered as she stopped suddenly.

"I've been waiting for you." She responded, and he knew exactly what she wanted, to get wasted and forget about her abusive dad … all before having mad, passionate sex with him.

"How was school today?" Hazel sat down as close to Jimmy as she could get.

"If you're asking if I'm following through on going to a different school, then no. I'm staying at Degrassi." Jimmy admitted.

"Awesome. I think your doctor called about your physical therapy session." Hazel informed him, taking on every house chore that needed to be done. "And I picked up the work you missed from Kwan. I know how she doesn't like to accept late work." She continued, ignoring Jimmy's protests.

"You don't have to do this." He informed her.

"Yes I do." Hazel whispered. This was how every conversation they had lately started. But Hazel knew that she had to do things around the house to make her forget about everything … like how her relationship with Jimmy was completely deteriorating. It's kind of weird that she always thought that they'd be together and with their first real test, everything began to fall apart.

Ding dong! Ding … dong!

"I guess I'm getting it." Hazel forced herself to smile, holding Jimmy's hand for a little while before making it to the door. Without checking to see who it was, Hazel opened the door, thinking it was Marco or someone.

"Hazel Ameena Aden." Her mother scolded as Hazel stopped in her tracks frozen. She didn't think that it would catch up to her this soon.

"Wow. Is this for me?" Manny wondered as Kiowi handed her a small box. She shook it. It was definitely jewelry. "You shouldn't have." She opened the box abruptly as her mother placed three plates onto the table.

"Manny. Have you no manners?"

"Mom, we're just celebrating my good news." Manny squealed in delight as Kiowi fastened a delicate diamond necklace around her neck. "You should follow his example." She smiled.

"No. If this deal works, you will be paying for _me _to live luxuriously." Her mother smiled. "After all I did bare you for"

"Nine and a half months. I know mom." Manny kissed Kiowi appreciatively, partially because she wanted to thank him and partially because she knew that it would please her mother to think she had taken part in something positive in Manny's life. In actuality, she was one of the ones who had added the most drama. "I'm so psyched about this!" She yelled, so ready to leave Canada and take a few days off to go to LA.

"Yeah, while you're vacationing, I'll be taking finals." Kiowi complained.

"But you'll ace all of them. I know you will." Manny kissed him again, standing up and grabbing her jacket without even eating a bite of her food. Her mom knew that she didn't eat pig.

"Ahh!" Manny ran up to Gianni as soon as she saw him, jumping onto his back, while still screaming.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to L.A." She explained in a sing-songy voice, ready to start jumping up and down with excitement.

"LA?" You and that kid are getting hitched?" Gianni joked as Manny rolled her eyes.

"No. I am so totally going auditions for a couple of music videos and if I'm lucky … I'll get to be in one of Usher's!" Manny screamed, hugging Gianni happily.

"Wow. That's really cool." He responded, not even exhibiting a tenth of her excitement.

"That was real convincing." Manny replied, following Gianni's gaze, which was now on Ellie. "What happened this time?"

"We called it quits." He answered, sneaking to the back of the building and pulling out a cigarette.

"Gross." Manny pulled it out of his mouth before he could smoke it. "I thought Ellie adored you. Why would she break it up?"

"Her mother had an outburst and apparently … she's an alcoholic. Ellie didn't want me to know and was really pissed off when I found out." He answered.

"So, what?"

"What do you mean what?" Gianni answered, losing sight of Ellie.

"So what did you do?" She wondered.

"I went to the Centre with Alex." Gianni explained.

"You did not!" Manny's eyes grew wide as he nodded. "You idiot." She hit him upside the head. "Everyone knows that you always go after the girl even if she claims that's she doesn't want to see you." Manny shook her head. "So instead of going to console her and make her feel like she mattered, you went to hang out with Alex so that you'd get a head?"

"It wasn't even like that." Gianni looked away, blushing. "It was just sex."

"Dude, you are hella stupid." Manny laughed to herself. "All I can say is that you better find yourself another girl because Ellie won't be coming around any time soon."

"Alright." Gianni stood closer to Manny. "So are you available?" He joked whispering in her ear.

"Eww. I'd have more fun trying to kiss myself." Manny pushed him away as Gianni put her in a headlock and they walked back into the building.

"Hazel Aden." Her mother threatened again as Hazel opened the door, knowing that she was trapped.

"Hi mom." Hazel hugged her mother tightly, as they repeated the normal Muslim greeting to one another.

"What are you doing here?" She instantly demanded as soon as she was in the house.

Hazel took a deep breath, sighing and then finally getting up the courage to say what she wanted. "I knew that Jimmy's parents couldn't be there for him so I told him that I'd move in."

"What made you think that you could make such an adult decision?" Ms. Aden questioned, barely looking over at Jimmy.

"I had no other choice. No one else was going to take care of him and I had to mom. Please understand." Hazel pleaded.

"What I don't understand is how you can so easily throw out everything your father and I have taught you for some American boy. Hazel, I know he is your friend and he's in trouble, but this is not your place." She argued back.

"It is because he's my boyfriend." Both women stood in silence as Ms. Aden walked over to Jimmy, ready to give him a pieces of her mind. "But nothing's happened. We haven't done anything mom."

"You've lied to me, run away, and deceived everyone. That's more than nothing." Ms. Aden took Hazel by the arm. "We're leaving."

"But I"

"And I don't want you to see him again." Ms. Aden dragged Hazel out of the house, crushing all the thoughts Hazel had had of her and Jimmy working it out, until he could walk again.

(A/N: Thanks and review! –NL)


	4. Four Years Gone Down the Drain

Chapter Four: Four Years Gone Down the Drain

Ellie didn't even want to relive it in her mind. Last night had been a complete disaster. One of the worst things that could've happened happened and now Gianni knew about her less-than-perfect life. It wasn't bad enough that she was already feeling inferior to him … wondering why he had chosen her in the first place, but now she was sure that it was over. So sure that—

"Oh. Excuse me." Ellie sighed, bending down to pick up the books that had flown out of her arms and not paying attention to who she had just bumped into.

"You should be." Alex snarled, upset that this was the girl who was threatening her relationship with Gianni. This was the girl that was making her question their ability to be together … and Alex's own ability to let her guard down and tell Gianni how she _really _felt.

"Alex. What do you want from me?" Ellie rolled her eyes. She just didn't get this girl. They'd never been friends, but she at least thought that they had an understanding or something like it.

"I want you to stay out of my life, realize how pathetic you are, and just end it."

"End what?"

"Your life. It's not like anyone will miss you anyway." Alex brushed past Ellie harshly, as she stumbled into a locker behind her. Ellie rolled her eyes, not really caring what Alex thought until … she saw her push Gianni into an empty room.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gianni wondered in between kisses as he and Alex went back and forth, as if it was a game to determine whom wanted whom more.

"I mis—I'm just having fun." Alex covered, ceasing to kiss him all-of-a-sudden.

"I thought we agreed that we wouldn't do this." Gianni tried to straighten himself, his thoughts lingering on the taste of Alex's lips on his.

"I know but--" She stopped herself. If Gianni knew how much she cared … that's what had broken her relationship with Jay. Love was a messed up thing and Alex had learned that even _talking _about it would have any guy running in the opposite direction. She shrugged. "What are we doing tonight?" Alex changed the subject, wrapping her arms around Gianni's neck.

"I'm going to hang out with Ellie." Gianni looked deeply into Alex's eyes, quickly removing her arms, unaware that Ellie was eavesdropping.

"I don't know what you see in her. She's a pathetic, funless prude." Alex pulled out a cigarette, lighting it immediately, not caring who saw her. "And I know I could take you places that she can't." Alex smirked.

"Alex, you're not Ellie." Gianni stopped suddenly, kissing her. "Just deal with it, okay?"

"Ahh!" Manny screamed, excitedly, happy to be in LA, but more excited that Kiowi had taken off a couple of days at school to help her get adjusted. "I can't believe how warm it is here."

"This is warm?" Kiowi complained.. He always seemed to be cold.

"It's December and there's no snow. How awesome is this?" She exclaimed, hugging him happily. The winter weather was so much better here and for the first time, Manny could actually see herself being somewhere other than Canada.

"Do you know how to get to the office?" Kiowi wondered as Manny nodded, pointing to the agency which was practically in front of them. Manny felt like she knew her way around the entire city. The online tours had been more and helpful and she was going to be spending a lot of time here.

"This is it." Manny smiled, still amped about everything. Kiowi and Manny walked into the front of the agency and signed in. Kiowi excused himself for the bathroom as Manny was called into the back.

"Right this way." The lady at the front led her into an empty office as Manny sighed nervously. "You're in luck. You're one of the few girls that gets to meet who you're working with beforehand."

"You mean … he's here?" Manny wondered unsurely, not really knowing much about this guy, except that he was looking for back-up singers and back-up dancers. She wasn't really prepared to show what she could do and didn't even know that she would be meeting him.

"Yep." The secretary closed the door behind Manny as she looked around nervously. "Wow. What have I gotten myself into?" She asked as a loud knock startled her and caused her to jump.

"Hello. I'm …" Manny's voice trailed off as she stared at who was in front of her. "Craig?"

"Manny. You're here to audition?" He smiled as she looked down and nodded, ashamed. Craig had always had the power to make her feel like a little girl, and a year later, nothing had changed. "You work here?"

"No, I'm the guy looking for back-up singers and dancers … this is so bizarre." He added, walking closer to Manny as she stood to hug him. "You look so different." They embraced for a while, letting go only to take a good look at one another.

Instantly, Manny could see that this wasn't the same jerk-off who had broken her heart and stolen her innocence. He was … different somehow. He was …

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have Mr. Kiowi here." The secretary barged in as Manny forced herself to erase any sincere feelings she had for Craig. _I'm here to land this gig_, she told herself. And that's what she did.

(A/N: I finally updated something. I'm so sorry you guys, but my life has been really hectic. I have a million exams coming up in May and will be testing for most of the month. This week I have a dance performance, so who knows when I'll be able to update. I'm just glad that I momentarily got over my writers block. (Thanks to my nostalgic reflections on early high school life) I'll try to start writing regularly _after _my exams are up. Until then … who knows? –NL)


	5. Oh I Wish Things Could've Happened So Di...

Chapter Five: Oh I Wish Things Could've Happened So Differently

"I can't believe that it's almost time for you to leave already." Manny pouted, wrapping her arms around Kiowi's waist, burying her face into his chest. It wasn't like she was scared of being left in Los Angles, but just the thought of having to work with Craig and be around him was … weird. And when he had hugged her, it wasn't what she expected. She didn't hate him anymore, but it was almost like … she understood him. "I'm going to miss you." Manny whispered, focusing her thoughts back on her perfect boyfriend.

"I know, but it's just for a little while. We'll be on winter break soon and then I'll spend it here with you." He offered.

"You'd miss spending Christmas with your family to be here with me?" She wondered, looking up suddenly.

"Don't seem so surprised. You know you mean a lot to me Manny." Kiowi smiled cupping her face and kissing her slowly. "Besides, I couldn't spend three weeks locked up in the house with my family." Manny smiled.

"I know what you mean." She held onto him a little longer before they caught a cab a back to the hotel.

* * *

"Ellie." Gianni breathed slowly, as he saw her sad face standing outside the door as if she had been waiting for him. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"Is there something going on?" She wondered, barely looking at him because she was still embarrassed about what had happened.

"You tell me. I came over meet your parents, things go a little wrong, and you freak out on me." Gianni answered, trying to detract all the attention away from him and focus it on her.

"And you didn't call." Ellie pouted.

"You acted like you didn't want me in your life ever again, like I had done something really horrible to you.' Gianni protested.

"Well … I don't know what's been going on with you either. First you pretend like you care, and then whenever I tried to call you I got your machine, and you're just … is there something going on?" Ellie wondered again.

"Like what?" Gianni continued walking further and further away from where he and Alex had been moments earlier, hoping that she wasn't going to do something crazy like she always did..

"Why were you in … with Alex …" Ellie spat out, happy that everything was out in the open.

As Gianni paused, Alex took this as her cue to jump in. "Because he's sleeping with me. See doom and gloom, you're not enough to fill his appetite." She declared, staring Ellie down. This girl was everything she hated, but everything Ellie wished she had.

"Alex, cut it out and go somewhere, will you?" Gianni brushed her off, more concerned about Ellie's feelings than Alex. Alex was a tough girl, cold as ice sometimes and he knew that she could handle it better than Ellie.

"No. What else is going on Alex?" Ellie asked, looking back at Gianni. "Is it true?"

"Every weekend, after he hangs out with you, he kicks it with me. We've been … together for a year now. What about you doom and gloom?" Alex smiled. She knew she was pushing Ellie over the edge, and was getting some kinda weird kick out of it.

"Come on Alex. Go somewhere." Gianni shoved her gently as she stumbled, hitting the lockers. She held her right side, hoping that no one noticed her labored breathing.

"Don't hit her." Ellie chimed in. "Have you been hanging out with her? Is any of this true?"

Defeated, Gianni finally gave in. "Yeah. I have been sleeping with Alex." When he saw Ellie's pained face he added, "But it's not like it _meant _anything. Ellie I want to be with you."

"That's funny. I remember you saying something like that to me once." Alex interrupted.

"Alex, with you and me it was only about the sex. Get over it." Gianni turned his attention back to Ellie who was running away.

"But you weren't complaining." Alex whispered to herself, suddenly feeling cheap. Although Jay was into Emma now, he'd never make her feel like a five cent whore.

"Now look what you've done." Gianni started to go after Ellie, but deemed it useless, at least at school. "Why are you always such a bitch?" He asked Alex, who punched him in the jaw in response.

"The same reason you are." Alex spat on Gianni, walking back to her car. She didn't _need _this. She knew she wasn't worth much in anyone's eyes, but she was better than this.

* * *

"If you want this audition, you're going to have to give more than that." Manny's agent informed her. But the truth was that she didn't know if she could handle this … pretending that she wanted Craig and not actually _wanting _him. Somehow she had gotten herself into this situation and, of course, he was one of the judges.

"I'm doing the best I can." Manny sighed, taking a sip of her water. All the girls here were awesome, and she was sure they didn't have a torn past with the lead singer of the group they would be dancing for.

"Well you're best isn't good enough. I know you have more in you than that Manny and you need to show them what you have." Jessica explained as Manny nodded, distractedly. "Look, do you want this or not? You're the one that wants the career in the performing arts."

"I've gotta go." Manny answered, rushing onto the floor. She knew she looked the part. With her low rise jeans and midriff-baring jacket, she was probably one of the most clothed girls there, but the cutest. Definitely the cutest.

* * *

"I think we're going to have to send you to an all girl's school." Ms. Aden informed her daughter as her father sat down on the couch quietly. He never said a word. Hazel's mother always did all the talking.

"Why are you blowing this out of proportion mom? I haven't _done _anything. It's not wrong for me to want to support Jimmy. He's in a wheelchair!" Hazel exclaimed, her voice rising with each subsequent sentence.

"That's not what this is about. We didn't know where you were Hazel. You can't run off like this because you have some little school girl crush on this Brooks guy. It's more than that Hazel. We have a reputation to maintain." Ms. Aden continued.

"Is that what you think dad?"

"I think your mother has the right intentions. Maybe Degrassi Community School isn't the place for you anymore. With that shooting, I've become more and more concerned about your safety." He declared in his usual low voice.

"Come on." Hazel looked back and forth between her parents. "You both know that that's not the real reason. You hate Jimmy because he's not Muslim. And I'm sorry that you can't see what a perfect match he is for me, but you guys can't just ship me off and hope that time will lessen my feelings for him. It won't." Hazel promised them, suddenly more sure of anything than she had been in a long time. "I love him." She took a deep breath in, smiling to herself. "Nothing will change that."

"Then going to that all-girl's school in Maine won't be a problem." Mr. Aden stood up, reaching for the phone. Hazel had hoped that her confidence in her relationship with Jimmy would make them change their minds, but instead, it seemed to backfire.

* * *

"Hey Manny." Craig rushed to catch up with her. All of the other girls that had auditioned had left, but she had lingered for some reason.

"Hey." She tried not to look like she was defeated. Manny had lost that audition and she knew it.

"You were awesome today. The guys and I have to deliberate, but I think you're in." He offered, picking up her bag generously.

"Thanks, but I think you're the only one who probably wants me there." She nodded as Craig rushed to open the door for her.

"No. They think you're hott. I can tell." He smiled.

"And how many hott girls were there at the audition. I'm prepared to take rejection Craig. Just let me fail on my own. No hand-outs."

"So, where are you going?" He asked.

"To bask in the fact that I just failed miserably." Manny joked.

"Seriously? Why don't you come and hang out with me?" Craig wondered, correcting himself when Manny looked at him sharply. "Us. The guys and me. That won't hurt, will it?"

"The other girls will hate me." She whispered, truly not having any other plans for the night.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

* * *

"Damn it!" Alex yelled to herself, realizing that she was out of cigarettes. "How did that happen?" She asked herself, noting that she hadn't really been aware of things like that when she was with Gianni. "The jackass."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were losing your mind." Jay walked towards his ex-girlfriend, letting go of Emma's hand and telling her that he was going to talk to Alex for a while.

"So, you're here to rub it in, to tell me that you got the better relationship. I guess I should congratulate you." Alex rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Yeah?" She looked at him confused, because he looked like he was expecting something.

"I'm waiting for my congratulations."

"Yeah right. You have some cigarettes?" She wondered, pulling out her favorite lighter. It was a deep red with black xs and os all over.

"Naw. I quit." Jay smiled as Alex shook her head.

"You didn't. Miss goody-good got to you?" She questioned as he nodded.

"But she's not so good anymore." Alex's smile faded at the statement as Jay finally looked at her, really looked at her realizing that something was wrong. "Your father hit you?"

"How did you know?" Alex lifted up her shirt, exposing a highly bruised midriff. Laughing to herself she added, "Beats the face."

"When are you going to do something about that?" Jay asked, suddenly becoming so concerned with Alex. She hated that. Concern. What kind of emotion was that … something like pity … ugh.

"I'll take care of it when I'm eighteen. That won't be too long now, or have you forgotten?" Alex started playing with her lighter, imagining that her nicotine craving was being satisfied at the moment.

"And Gianni?"

"What are you, Oprah?" Alex shrugged, looking down and trying not to cry but her eyes started tearing up anyway. Jay held her for a while before she started talking again. "He was an asshole, like you said. At least the sex was good." She tried get herself to smile.

"Oh." Jay let go sudden, noticing that this wasn't his place anymore. Pushing back thoughts from his mind that he and Alex had never been physically intimate, he started walking towards the building.

"Call me sometime." Alex demanded to Jay, who was caught off guard. "I- I mean just to hang. I'll keep my hands off. You're goody-good's now. I know that." Reluctantly, Alex watched him walk away. Deep down, she knew that the chances of Jay actually calling her were slim to none. She also knew that anyone else was completely and utterly incapable of understanding the massive shit she was going through. "Those are the breaks." She told herself, walking back into the school building. It was better for her to be here than at home. Once her brother found out what she did … he'd be waiting to kick her ass too.

(A/N: What do you think? I finally got this story going again, after losing what it is I set out to do. I like the fact that I'm writing about more than one character, but let me know who you want/think should have more air time. I really appreciate all of the comments I've gotten so far. If any of you guys have likes/dislikes about this chapter or any other ones, tell me. –NL)


	6. I’d Try‘d to Save it so Many Times, but

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from this story unless they aren't regulars on the show. (like Gianni) **

Chapter Six: I'd Try'd to Save it so Many Times, but You Still Couldn't See

"Let me explain." Gianni ran after Ellie, knowing that it was useless. What was he going to say that would make anything better? Nothing.

"You've humiliated yourself once del Rossi. Leave it alone." Ellie retorted, placing a few books back in her locker. It was already sixth period, and she was dealing with what happened. Coping. Seeing Gianni almost every class didn't help the healing process either.

"Just listen." Gianni begged as Ellie rushed to her IB Biology course.

"I'm not going to. Give it up." They parted as their new teacher Ms. Scarlett explained their newest project—dissecting a pig. "Great," Ellie said to Ashley, who shared the same sentiments about having animals **and insects** killed for the so-called "benefit of science" when there were already hundreds of diagrams of a pig's interior.

"Ms. Scarlett." Ashley rose her hand, ready to begin her protest.

"If you have a problem with this assignment, no one's getting out of it. Interactive software is no replacement for the actual hands-on approach we are taking." She nodded in Ashley's direction. "However, if the severity of this project is too much for you, and if your parents shares your sentiments by signing this consent form and agreeing to purchase their own software, then you are by all means excused."

Ellie sighed. "This sucks." She mumbled.

"I know--"

"No, not this … I mean not _just _this. Ash, Gianni's been cheating on me." Ellie confessed.

"Yeah." Ashley looked away. "I heard."

"From who?"

"I think the whole school knows Elle."

"Great. With that embarrassing display, how could they not?" Ellie paused. "It's not just the fact that he cheated on me that bothers me, but the way he treated Alex. I actually felt bad for her." She admitted.

"Well, maybe he was trying to show you how much he loved you. The same thing happened with me and Craig…" Her voice trailed off.

"And then he moved to the states." Ellie finished for her as Ashley instantly began to look sad. "And it was his loss. I don't know why we're almost in tears here. We don't need them. As long as we're concerned, Craig and Gianni no longer exist."

"And Ellie Nash will be paired with Gianni del Rossi." Ms. Scarlett finished as Ellie and Ashley looked at each other in surprise.

"E-Excuse me." Ellie raised her hand.

"Your dissection partner is Gianni del Rossi. If anyone has anymore questions about their partners, which I know you will, the list is posted on the bulletin." She ended before continuing her lecture.

"I cannot believe this," Ellie said in between gasps. "What a nightmare."

* * *

"So, this is the band." Craig led Manny into the band's vehicle.

"Cool." She shook everyone's hand, suppressing the sudden need to become all "groupie" and ask them to sign something. "It's nice to meet you guys." Manny nodded. Dying Rose was one of her favorite bands.

"So, what do you want to do?" Craig wondered as the other guys in the bad went back to what they were doing and it was just her and Craig.

"Umm … Maybe I shouldn't be here." She began, noticing his arm around the seat in a complete non-platonic way, which actually was platonic but Manny was overreacting.

"No. I'm sorry." Craig began. "Whatever I did to make you feel uncomfortable, I apologize. Please stay." He begged. "I get tired of hanging out with dudes all the time." Craig joked.

"No funny business." Manny made him promise, trying not to look too deeply into his eyes, and hoping that this 'outing' wouldn't involve him playing a song for her. She was a sucker for that kinda thing.

* * *

"My parents are making me transfer after this term is over." Hazel sighed, holding onto Jimmy's hand lightly.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Haze." Paige rushed over to her best friend's side, hugging her genuinely. "Parents totally suck."

"Yeah." Jimmy agreed, confused. "So, did they give you a reason why they were sending you away?"

"Nothing worth you worrying about. I've still got two weeks with you guys." Hazel smiled, trying to make the best of a definitely bad situation.

"It wasn't me was it?" Jimmy pressed. Hazel and Paige exchanged glances as she finally stepped in.

"Don't worry about it hon. Nothing can tear you and Hazel apart. I'm sure of it." Paige reassured him. Hazel smiled at her, thankful to have such a helpful friend.

* * *

"Come here." Jay dragged Emma back to him, kissing her intensely. He never thought that he would be into someone so _different_ than what he was, so beautiful and so innocent. "What are we doing after school?" He wondered, wrapping his arm around her neck.

"I'm protesting the school's dissection project." She responded, pulling him closer to her.

"What? No." Jay complained as Emma nodded. "I thought we had plans."

"We did, but this comes first Jay. You know how I feel about animal cruelty."

"But they're already dead. It's not like they can be hurt anymore if you're slicing up a corpse." Jay argued, completely missing Emma's point.

"You're not getting it Jay. If we didn't have to dissect them, they'd never be killed." Emma shot back.

"But you eat pork, don't you?" He asked as she shook her head.

"Not as of today." Walking away from Jay, Emma shook her head profusely. She had no idea how they were going to make it. They were so different, so opposite, so … perfect for each other.

* * *

"And would you like anything with that diet coke?" Paige asked as Alex continued cleaning up the counters, passing some milk duds to Paige. She looked more rugged than usual. "Is there something wrong?" Paige wondered as the line cleared.

"No. Just peachy. And you princess?" Alex resorted to her sarcastic self, her only defense mechanism from breaking down at that very instant.

"Alex. I know something is wrong. When Spin was being a jerk to me, you gave me some really good advice. Let me return the favor."

"I'm good." Alex turned away from the counter, taking in deep breaths. In a little while, she'd be out of here and maybe Amy would let her spend the night so that she wouldn't have to face her deluded father.

"Why don't you take this one? I need a break." Paige pushed Alex towards the counter. It was Jay.

"What do you want?" She spat out, hating that he was seeing her like this—all worn-out and sweaty.

"I came to hang out." He smiled.

"If you want some free food, no can do. Last time, Meeri almost noticed and I could've lost this job." Alex explained.

"As if you don't already have another one."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Alex wondered as Jay ordered a small popcorn.

"Yeah. I was going to wait until you got off of work and see if you wanted to hang out with me." He offered.

"Really?" Alex's eyes lit up, unable to hide her sudden emergence of hope. "What does goody-good say about this?"

"She doesn't call the shots." Jay answered as Alex rolled her eyes. He was still the same … pretending like the woman of his life didn't control what he did. But she always did. Alex had once been that woman.

* * *

"Thanks for bringing me back." Manny smiled as the rain continued to pour on them. Of course, with her luck, neither had an umbrella.

"Of course." Craig returned the smile. "It's been really good to see you, to have a familiar face."

"Are you sure it was okay what we did today?" Manny asked, still apprehensive about spending the day with Dying Rose—at an amusement park.

"Yeah. We didn't do anything." Both paused as Manny focused in on the numerous teddy bears he had won for her.

"We've come a long way since our first date." She joked, thinking about how immature she used to seem to Craig.

"I know. I'm glad you had fun with us." Craig and Manny stared at each other, unmoving as he finally started to lean in. Closing her eyes, Manny held her breath. This was everything she said she _didn't _want. Everything that would cost her everything. "Hmm." Manny pulled away from the kiss before it got too intense as her phone started to ring. "Hey."

"Hey babe." It was Kiowi. Waving goodbye to Craig, Manny explained how her audition went, purposely leaving out her day with Craig.

* * *

"I hate crying." Alex tossed a random object across the room as she started to break-down. Jay held her tightly as she collapsed in his arms. He remembered when they used to be friends, before they dated. Alex would come over every night just to hug him … to have someone touch her and tell her that they loved her. That was all that she ever wanted.

"It's okay." Jay stroked her hair, unable to deny that his feelings for her were still strong—but he wasn't sure if they were platonic or not.

"Don't tell anyone about this." She threatened, her mascara running down her eyes. Funny. Jay didn't remember her ever wearing make-up when she went out with him, unless it was to cover up bruises made by her father.

"You're better than he is. He doesn't deserve you." Jay recited, sounding completely cliché, but meaning every single word he said.

"Yeah, but I keep losing everyone. How am I not supposed to feel--"

"Don't say it." Jay stopped her mid-sentence. "You _are _good enough." Holding her tightly, he felt a sudden urge to protect her from herself. From whatever she was thinking, from her father. "Stay here the night." He demanded without thinking as Alex fell asleep in his arms.

(A/N: What do you think? I got some inspiration from reading about supermodel Gia, but don't ask how. Anyway, I hope you like and most of all REVIEW! –NL)


	7. You Kept Insisting and Resisting

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from this story unless they aren't regulars on the show. (like Gianni) **

Chapter Seven: You Kept Insisting and Resisting that You Would not Fall Again

"So let's get started." Gianni began, happy that he was paired with Ellie, thus giving him an excuse to be around her and to explain himself. For some reason, that he could not explain, Gianni couldn't seem to let it go. This wasn't the first time that he'd been with two girls at a time, and most of the time he just moved on, but something was preventing this.

"Don't think that just because we got assigned to do with unethical project, I'm going to start talking to you. I won't. I'd rather fail before doing this." Ellie spat out.

"But if you fail this, then you fail the course." Ms. Scarlett chimed in, handing Ellie and Gianni an information sheet about the software.

"Three hundred dollars! How am I ever going to come up with that money?" Ellie shook her head as Ashley gave her a look of sympathy. They were both in the same boat.

"I could … lend it to you." Gianni offered.

"Like you have that kind of money. I don't know why you're even talking to me. I want nothing to do with you." She argued again.

"Ellie, I'll give you the money if you just talk to me. Give me a chance. Consider … consider taking me back." He begged, even though it was difficult for him.

"Hmm. I've considered it and my answer is still no!" Ellie slammed her binder closed and grabbed the restroom pass.

* * *

"What the hell is this?" Alex wondered as she woke up next to Jay. "Great." She muttered to herself. Most of the time, she used to wake up early enough to make it back to her house, but she lived clear across town and that was not happening now. "Would you wake up?" She shook Jay roughly, rolling her eyes.

"What?" Jay sat up suddenly. "Oh. Hey." He greeted Alex, once he remembered what had happened.

"You know this is stupid, right?" She stood up, pulling on her sneakers. "There's no way I'm going to make it home now, and when I finally make it there this afternoon, I'm gonna have hell to pay." She continued to complain.

"Not to mention that you'll be going to school wearing your work uniform." Jay joked.

"Yeah. You're real funny jackass." Alex hit him with a pillow, noticing that he was right.

"Don't hit me." Jay threw the pillow back at her as they continued hitting each other until they both fell off the bed. Jay landed on top of Alex as they both stopped laughing and stared into each other's eyes.

"Ouch." Alex muttered, looking down at her stomach.

"Still hurts?" Jay moved, feeling a little guilty for feeling what he was feeling, but he didn't have room in his life for Alex to be his friend. It bothered him too much.

"Like hell." Alex peeled herself off the floor, switching the topic. "Your sister still has some stuff hanging about here?" She wondered, walking toward Anna's room.

"Yeah. This is her second home." Jay answered.

"So, I'm gonna look like a priss today?" Alex grabbed a towel and walked into the bathroom. She had been through this many times before and new every corner of Jay's house—she also knew that his father was never around, but left enough cash for Alex to figure out that they were loaded, even though Jay never took the money.

"Let me handle it." Jay smiled, laying back on the bed with his hands behind his neck.

* * *

"I really miss you." Kiowi sighed. He knew that not seeing Manny was going to get to him, but he didn't think he'd feel this alone.

"Aww. Baby, don't do this." Manny begged. She had so many things to do to clear her head before she went back to the studio to find out if she had made it or not. Getting all emotional about this would only make things worse.

"No, listen to me Manny. This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be and … I'm making a trip back down there." He admitted. "I hate this Manny. I hate not being near you."

"Oh, don't be dramatic. I'm coming back. This isn't going to be permanent. I promise." Manny arrived at the studio. She was almost late and all the other girls had already started warming up. When she walked in, everyone stopped and stared at her. "Oh-kay." Manny sighed, ready to get this over with. "I'm at the studio hon. We'll talk about this later, but don't do anything impulsive."

Manny hung up the phone and rushed out to the middle of the floor. She hadn't even really paid attention to what she put on, but she was guessing it was a little extreme by the looks she was getting.

"I know she's beautiful, but you don't have to stare." Aaron chimed in as the rest of Dying Rose walked into the room. Manny smiled shyly as she noticed Craig walking in. For some reason, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him and was holding her breath the entire time.

"So, you all know why you're here." Craig began, looking directly at Manny.

"But we liked you all, so this is going to be the final cut. Today."Their manager explained. "As you all may or may not know, the band Dying Rose is moving in a new direction and we're looking to expand our horizons.

"Now, we're going to have each of the guys dance with you girls in order to make our final decision." Dani, the choreographer explained as Manny looked around. There were at least 11 girls here and this audition was going to take forever. She had been planning on calling Kiowi afterwards. She sighed thinking about how she kissed Craig last night, lied to Kiowi about it, and … maybe apart of her actually _liked _it. But Kiowi was a perfect match for her. Her mother even liked him.

"We will start off with you five." Dani began. " Number five with Craig, number seven with Aaron, number sixty-seven with Brad, and number twenty-nine with Julio."

"I'm glad it's finally just me and you." Hazel admitted, not wanting to tell Jimmy what was going on.

"Yeah. Me too. I have something to show you." Jimmy wheeled himself to the edge of a sturdy table and struggled to stand.

"Jimmy." Hazel rushed over to him.

"No. I can do this." He reassured her, after a long fight. Eventually he stood and Hazel smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

"Now, I'll tell you my news." She whispered, watching every part of his body help him maneuver back into the wheelchair. "I love you." Hazel professed, kissing Jimmy passionately. "And I want to prove it to you. Right now."

"Now?" Jimmy wondered as Hazel nodded, sitting on his chair with him.

"Uh-huh." Hazel kissed him again, forgetting everything she had been taught about her entire life, unsure of what she was getting herself into, but set on defying her mother and everything that she supposedly stood for.

* * *

"Did you ask for this to happen?" Manny wondered as Craig stood beside her, looking at her closely. "And why are you staring?"

"I'm not."

"Girls, I hope you remember your routines from yesterday because we will be expanding on that." Dani interrupted, slinging her long black and bleached blonde hair over her shoulder.

"You probably just want another excuse to kiss me." Manny muttered as the routine progressed and Craig dipped her.

"Like you didn't wan it." Craig shot back, more focused on Manny than the routine.

"Look. I'm very close to finding the perfect guy and you're ruining it." Her voice rose as **Toxic** continued blaring in the background.

"I'm not doing anything Manny. What's your problem?" Manny was relieved when a guy yelled "switch" with Dani's permission. Manny was no longer dancing with Craig, but with Aaron instead.

"I hate him!" Manny tried to convinced herself as Aaron smiled.

"But you want to work with us?"

"Of course. Why not? I love the band, but I hate having to do this. Craig doesn't understand what personal space is." Manny complained.

"Maybe you're not over your past." He suggested as her eyes blazed.

"That's the most intelligent thing you've said, even if you are so wrong. Kissing Craig meant nothing to me." She lied, starting to get into the choreography.

"And if you kissed someone else?" Aaron pried.

"Like who?"

"Me." He answered as the song ended with Manny's leg on his shoulder, arching back. Realizing that all eyes were on them, both Aaron and Manny made a show, leaning in closer to one another.

"Fabulous!" Dani called from the sidelines as Manny squealed with Aaron hugging and swinging her around.

"You are such a flirt." Manny whispered, kissing the side of his face.

"Switch!" The guy called again as Manny moved onto Brad.

"You want me to wear this?" Alex walked into Anna's room straight from her shower, catching Jay off-guard.

"It's the closest thing she has to what you would wear." Jay laughed.

"Black and white velour? Do you know what people are going to think when I show up to school looking like this? I'll be the joke of the school." Alex complained, actually being herself around someone instead of being who she thought they wanted her to be.

"Since when do you care what those snot nosed kids think?" Jay asked, staring at Alex in her towel.

"I don't." She snatched the outfit from him taking a closer look. "And you're taking me to school right?"

"Actually, I've got to pick up Emma." Jay commented, trying to distance himself from the space that was quickly lessening between the two.

"Goody-good has got a tight hold on you. I wonder what she'll say when she finds out that we spent the night together." Alex smiled. "Too bad I can't get a ride to school." She pushed.

"Why can't you just stay here and chill? I know you hate school." Jay pleaded.

"Yeah, but if my father finds out that I've been skipping, he'll have my ass." Alex joked. "I thought you understood that." She brushed past him, feeling like a fool for getting herself in this situation—for letting Jay take her back to his house and be completely platonic with her when she wished everything was non-platonic, at least until she could get over Gianni.

"Hey drama queen." Jay called motioning for Alex to come closer to him as Alex found herself wrapped in his arms. Caught in the intensity of the moment, they almost kissed each other. "Why'd we never have sex?" He asked suddenly, kicking himself for saying what he had been thinking.

"Your girlfriend's gonna be waiting." Alex rolled her eyes, suppressing the urge to flick him off. Jay was her only ride to school and she had to be nice to him … well **semi-nice. **

"You've got to sit in the back, kid." Jay requested as Alex rolled her eyes.

"Why? She's bound to notice my presence. I can already sense her annoying innocence." Alex complained.

"Why would have I my ex-girlfriend in the back seat and my girlfriend in the front seat? I wonder."

"Yeah, I wonder why anyone wouldn't want their girlfriend and ex in the same car." Alex rolled her eyes as Jay laughed at Alex. Her wavy hair was everywhere and it was funny seeing her look so girly.

"You actually look normal." Jay joked, reaching for her hair. "Aww. How cute." Alex flicked him off in response, holding back her urge to hit him over the head.

"Jay." Emma rushed to the other side of the car as Jay got out of the car, kissing Emma lustfully. They began a mini-make out session as Alex scoffed. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I've been asking myself that same question." Alex hopped in the backseat.

"Jay?" Emma looked to him for an a**nswer.**

* * *

"I won't do it." Ellie started popping her rubber bands and counting from 1 to 100. It was day two of the frog project with Gianni and it was killing her.

"Fancy seeing you here doom and gloom." Alex teased, hating how she looked. What was worst was that everyone kept staring at her. She couldn't count the number of guys that had said something smart to her and she'd almost been in a fight today.

"Look Alex, I just wanted to apologize for what Gianni did to you. He had no right to--"

Save the pity party. You've got him. Take him." Alex ruffled her hair, wishing that she had had time to fight with it this morning.

"But no one deserves to be treated like they're nothing. Not even you." Ellie added quietly.

"Look doom and gloom, I was fuc-- having sex with your boyfriend while he was with you. It was fun. It wasn't going to last. No apologizes needed." Alex shrugged. She was used to pretending like everything was okay when it really wasn't.

"Alex, what is your deal? Didn't we used to almost be friends?" Ellie shot back.

"We only put up with you because of Sean and I don't see Sean around. Do you?" Alex looked back at Ellie.

"Who is we? I don't see any guy attached to your arm." Ellie spat out angrily as Alex walked into the nearest stall, slammed the door, and barely stopped herself from crumpling to the floor. So far this day was much more sucky **that usual.**

Jimmy couldn't believe what happened last night. He and Hazel … but he hadn't seen her all day to talk about what happened. Now, he was waiting at her locker.

"Hey." Ignoring their usual kiss, Hazel asked, "Jimmy, what are you doing here?"

"I want to talk about what happened last night. What made you…"

"I will not have this conversation here." Hazel wiped away the tears that started to fall down her face.

"Then where? You've been avoiding this and we both know this."

"It's just all clear to me now. You don't care about me and maybe you never have. At least I'll be out of here." Hazel **shrugged.**

* * *

"Where do you get off?" Emma came up behind Alex. Jay was not letting up on why Alex was in his car this morning, and she bet Alex was willing to spill.

"What's up your ass goody-good." Alex turned around to see Emma's surprised face.

"Why were you in Jay's car?" Emma asked, getting right to the point.

"Why don't you ask him? I don't like you. I'm not your friend." Alex held in her smile. She loved pushing people's buttons, especially uppity, self-righteous bitches like Emma.

"Look, Alex I'm not in the mood." Emma explained.

"And I don't give a flying--"

"Why do you keep hanging around him? Don't you see that he doesn't care about you? No one does. Not Jay. Not Gianni. Not--" Emma's last words were stopped by Alex's fist meeting her eye.

From there, Emma pushed Alex against the lockers, getting a few good hits on her before Alex started clawing at her, puling out chunks of Emma's hair.

"Hey. Break it up." Ks. Kwan and another teacher broke up the fight as Alex spit on Emma's face. "Slut."

"White trash."

(A/N: This was a bad chapter, I know but I don't know where I'm going with this story again. Maybe I should take a break. I get writers block way too easily! Give me some ideas and tell me who you want to hear more about: (1) Alex-Emma-Jay (2) Alex-Gianni-Elli (3) Kiowi-Manny-Dying Rose (4) Hazel-Jimmy)


	8. And Now You're Trying to Tell Me that

Chapter Eight: And Now You're Trying to Tell Me that You're Sorry 

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the titles to these chapters. They come from a song entitled 'Don't Wanna Try' by Frankie J. So if you like the lyrics, check out the song!  


"What are you doing here?" Jay asked amused, noticing that Alex had been pretty roughed up.

"They made me come to the principal's office. No biggie. The real question is why are you here? I thought goody-good changed all your bad ways." Alex shot back, smacking on her gum loudly.

"Whatever. I know you were fighting over me." Jay laughed. "It's cute really."

"Get over yourself." Alex shook her head. "Your girl needed to be put in her place."

"And my ex-girlfriend just had to be the one to do it, right?"

"Don't worry about what I do." Alex turned away from him.

"So what are you without me? A bad ass without a cause? A pathetic excuse for a woman." Jay spat out, his anger arising from the fact that he not only didn't have her, but couldn't have her. Alex noticed this and smiled. She wasn't fazed at all by his sudden change in character.

They both put on acts while in school. That was what high school was all about. He played the 'I don't give a fuck' asshole and she played the tomboyish badass. And she loved it when they interacted … the way they said what they were thinking and put it out there without a second thought.

"If you want sex, all you have to do is ask." She joked, waiting for his response. This was semi … amusing. Alex began to think that kicking the crap out of Emma was worth it after all.

"Alex, you know I want you." Jay whispered in her ear, running his tongue down her neck.

"Oh please. I can't believe you're getting tired with goody-good already." Alex shoved him away, although secretly wanting him to choose Alex over Emma. She didn't want to be in another Ellie-Gianni situation, but she hated being alone like this. And a hug part of her still wanted to get Jay back … not just to see if she could do it, because he _got _her more than most people.

"You know I just want you around."

"For what? To be another conquest? To prove that you can have me?" Alex laughed to herself. "Last night you were all concerned about me and my father and now you're all about the physical? Typical guy."

"Don't tell me you don't want to." Jay pressed, wanting her more and more each time she resisted.

"I'm through with that. Through with you. Do you not remember a couple of months ago when you were cheating on me with Emma, and now it's all gravy?"

"You at least gonna come over to my house tonight? A big party … a lot of people will be there." He ignored her last comment. A chick like Alex could never be taken too seriously.

"Will Emma be there?" Alex wondered, thinking about the opportunity to escape being at home for another night and probably getting drunk and high shitless.

"She doesn't even know." Jay grinned as Ms. H stuck her head out of her office.

"Jay, I'm ready for you."

**New Scene**

"Why are you being so dramatic?" Jimmy asked as Hazel shrugged. Jimmy had her backed into a corner and there was nothing left to do, but to tell him the truth.

"You know I've been avoiding you the entire day?" She forced herself to smile, even though she was hurting inside. Following Jimmy to his car, she decided that she was going to tell him how she felt. It was going to be hard enough, but Jimmy's driver being in the front seat make her even more uncomfortable.

"So, how do you feel about what happened last night?" He continued.

"I should feel great. It was my idea. I initiated it, but … I can't talk to you about this." Hazel ran from his car, running into Ashley on the way out.

"Haze. What's wrong?" Ashley swooped her out of the parking lot suddenly as Hazel continued to cry. Ashley had never seen her look so .. un-together.

"Jimmy and I had sex last night." She expressed in between gasps.

"And I thought that was supposed to be a good thing." Ashley began, baffled.

"I don't know … it should've been, but I feel so awful Ashley. I'm starting to think that I wasn't ready and that I've made one of the worst decisions of my life." Hazel sighed. "And I'm so sore. All over!" Ashley laughed, despite herself.

"All of that is totally normal. When I lost my virginity to Craig, I questioned us then, but when he proposed to me and kept coming back, I knew it was worth it because what he have is rare and legitimate."

"But I feel so ashamed, like I've let everyone down. I almost feel cheap and dirty. I can't even look at Jimmy the same way. I don't know what I was thinking." She buried her face in Ashley's shoulder.

"Do you love him?"

"Huh?"

"Do you love him Hazel?"

She thought long and hard before deciding to say, "Yeah."

"Then you can make it work."

**New Scene**

"You're in." Aaron whispered to Manny after the girls were done.

"How do you know?" She smiled, enjoying the distraction away from Craig.

"Because you're hott and we all love you." She flipped his hair behind his face as Manny took in her last moments with him. This was what her youth was supposed to be about—finding fun guys like Aaron to hang out without feeling tied down, like she did with Kiowi, and without feeling burdened and perplexed with Craig.

"We'd like to announce that whatever girls are chosen will have front row seats to the next N' Sync concert in the fall, so good luck." Dani confessed as Manny rolled her eyes. N' Sync was way too polished for her. She was more into LFO. Rich was really …

"Manny. I want to talk to you, alone." Craig added, leading her into an empty room. "Whatever happened to make you, upset I'm sorry."

"You mean for kissing me? Just say it." Manny looked away. "We can't just go on to being friends or whatever after what happened. I'm about to be engaged." She bragged, trying to hype herself up about it, but still puzzled by it all.

"So, we both agree that the kiss meant nothing?" Craig looked deeply to Manny's soul and she knew that he knew what she was really feeling.

"No. We both agree that it meant a lot, but that was the past. Things are way too complicated." She started to walk past him, but paused to look at his sad expression. Manny had it in her no-so-right mind to kiss him right now … but Craig beat her to it.

"Craig … Craig … this is business." She spat out to her and Craig's disappointment.

"I'm not here to have a relationship with you. Ever." Running in the opposite direction, Manny ended smack dab face to face with Kiowi. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." He hugged her tightly as Manny tried _not _to look at Craig as he walked past both of them.

**New Scene**

"So, what did she give you?" Jay wondered, waiting until Alex had come out of the principal's office.

"A warning. Emma apologized to me and we got off easy." She responded nonchalantly.

"That's it? Principal H suspended me." Jay complained. "Didn't you apologize?"

"That chick owes me. I could've killed her ass. You too." Alex shook her head. "You're lucky I'm over it." She lied. Just thinking about Jay and Emma made her want to kill something … or someone. But, she was coping with it and this party would be a good way for her to forget for one night.

"Like I care. You couldn't stop coming over if you wanted."

"And you couldn't stop caring if you wanted." She shot back. "It's so obvious that you still care Jason. How cute?" Alex stalked off.

"Party at my house!"

"I need my work uniform!"

**New Scene**

"W-What are you doing here honey?" Manny felt herself being hugged tightly by Kiowi.

"I missed you. I told you that."

"But what about your exams?" She questioned, concerned.

"Screw 'em. I'd rather be with you." He picked her up suddenly, carrying her out of the room.

"But … But, I made the cut. I'm going to be practicing and touring with the guys all the time." She tried to explain, her heart still beating fast from the anticipation of kissing Craig and the arrival of Kiowi.

"We still have tonight." Kiowi promised.

"You want to hang out at my hotel and play jacks? Now exactly my idea of fun." Manny shot back, as Kiowi put her down, taken aback.

"I know last time I was here, things were less than perfect, but … I have a surprise for you." He admitted.

"Oh! What is it?" She asked, getting excited for the first time since he was here.

"Something special." Kiowi kissed her softly, handing her a small gray box.

"I know you're not proposing." Manny began in disbelief.

"Not yet." Kiowi whispered as Manny opened the box. "It's a promise ring."

"Okay. Cute." She shut the box suddenly, feeling bad about her conflicting feelings for Craig.

"That's it?"

"No, it's just that--"

"If you're worried about tonight, don't. I'm willing to do anything for you Manny." Kiowi began. "I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you."

"What do you mean about tonight?"

"This ring binds us in marriage, but just not legally."

"But, I respect the fact that you want to wait until we're married." Manny protested.

"I _want _to do this." Kiowi reassured her with a kiss as Craig looked on from a corner jealously. Now he was back in another love triangle and had no idea how to handle it.

**New Scene**

"I'm here." Alex announced as Jay took a sip from his beer.

"I thought you were a no show."

"You know I love to party." She took the beer from him, taking a few swallows before it was all done.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jay asked. Alex's faced looked a little bruised and she never used to drink like that. She always had a couple of shots, but was more into getting high than anything else.

"I'm cool." She grabbed another beer and started working on that one.

"Hey. Hey!" Jay tried to get her attention. "I invited you here to talk."

"No can do. Oww!" Alex hollered, rushing onto a crowd of guys and dancing around them. Jay shrugged and tried to ignore it for a while, but after she had spent most of the night with them, he decided to see what she was up to.

"Coming through!" He yelled, looking for Alex. Some guys pointed to a room upstairs with a smirk as Jay ran up the stairs. "Alex!" He called, opening room door after room door until seeing three guys and Alex in the room. It was evident that they had been taking advantage of her, and that she had no idea what was going on.

"Hey assholes. Get out!" Jay forcefully thrusted each guy out of the room, before rushing to Alex's side. "You okay?"

"I'm cool. Where'd the guys go?"

"Out." Jay spat angrily.

"If you chased them away … you can go to." She smiled as Jay ignored her, picking her up and taking her out of the room. They got as far as the top of the steps before Alex tried to take a sip out of an empty beer bottle. "Damn it."

"You don't need anymore." Jay rolled his eyes.

"Don't you … Don't you … tell me … what I need." Alex finally got out of Jay's grasp, breaking the beer bottle on the stair railway.

"Come on Alex, tell me what's wrong." Jay sighed, trying to get to her before she made a scene.

"You don't care!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, getting everyone's attention. "I loved you, and you don't care!" Alex started fighting with him. "I should kill you right now, I should."

"Stop being dramatic and tell me why you have that bruise on your face!" Jay demanded, forgetting about his nonchalant attitude and actually showing … heart.

"No … no … you did this me." Alex laughed. "I don't even know why … it doesn't matter. I'll be dead anyway." She held the sharp ends of the beer bottle towards her throat.

"Alex. Stop it!"

"Alex, Stop it!" She imitated him, laughing and crying at the same time. "Now you care! Now you care!" Alex continued to scream as she and Jay struggled over the broken bottle, resulting in numerous cuts on both of them.

Jay had forgotten how strong Alex was and decided against fighting with her anymore. "You want to die. Fine. Do it! Do it!" He yelled, pushing her lightly against the wall.

"Don't touch me. Don't …" Her voice trailed off as the bottle fell from her hand, and she in turn fell to the ground with a smile on her face.

"Alex … Alex." Jay tried to get her to wake up. "Alex!"

"I love you … no … I don't." She tried to sit up, with the eerie smile still on her face. Erupting in a fit of laughter, Jay held onto her tightly before Alex loss consciousness.

**(A/N: This story has the second most hits out of all my stories, so that means someone is interested. Don't just read, review too … write a few sentences about what you liked, disliked, think will happen, or want to happen. I spend a lot of time writing, so show your appreciation! And thanks to those who actually reviewed … Much love –NL) **


	9. And You’re Trying to Come Back Home

Chapter Nine: And You're Trying to Come Back Home

**New Scene**

"So, we're meeting later tonight?" Kiowi asked Manny who nodded nervously. She was so wrapped up in kissing Craig, possibly having sex with Kiowi, and flirting with Aaron that she wasn't sure who she wanted anymore.

"Yeah. Cool. I'm going to go and catch up with the … the band and make sure we don't have any last minutes practices, but I'll meet you at my hotel room. Promise." Manny cupped Kiowi's face and kissed him slowly as he walked her to the door. "I love you."

"I love you." Aaron mocked as Craig followed behind silently, looking down at the ground.

"Shut up." Manny hit him in the stomach playfully. "Please tell me that we have some kind of rehearsal tonight. I don't know if I can deal with this--"

"Because of me, right?" Aaron joked, wrapping his arm around Manny's waist. "I knew you had a thing for me."

"Be serious."

"Actually, we do have something tonight." Craig cleared his throat as Manny tried not to stare at his lips. His beautiful lips which had been the first to touch hers. "But they won't say where." He added although he knew exactly what was going on. What was about to happen was like a peace offering to Manny. It would make her happy, which he deserved. Craig knew that he had no right to ruin her life after she was starting to put it back together again.

**New Scene**

"Lexi." Jay screamed out again as her face broke out into a smile and she started laughing again.

"I so had you sap." She laughed as he let go of her body, dropping her to the ground. "You know one more hit and I'll kick your ass."

"That wasn't funny Lexi. I thought you were dying." Jay shook his head angrily.

"Oh, so you do have a heart. How cute? It was a joke. Grow up."

"You're really sick, do you know that? What was that back there? Was it all an entire act?" Jay narrowed his voice as Alex avoided looking at him.

"I need to crash here tonight." Alex demanded, showing that she wasn't as drunk as Jay thought. Maybe she wasn't drinking at all.

"So you can pull another stunt like this?" Jay rolled his eyes.

"When it was Amy, you didn't give a damn."

"Amy's a whore." Jay explained as Alex gave him a harsh shove.

"Don't talk about my friend like that. If anything you're girlfriend's the skank. At least Amy didn't go around pretending to be Mary-in-the-flesh. She's had a hard life and your girl has no excuse." Alex jogged down the steps, met by a mixture of amusement and disgust. "I won't stay in your room." She bargained.

"Only if you tell me what happened." Jay touched her cheek softly as Alex jumped back in pain.

"You should see dad. He's looks like shit."

**New Scene**

"So, umm … you wanted to talk to me?" Jimmy wondered as Hazel sat down on his couch, still feeling awkward about what she and Jimmy had done.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean … Jimmy, don't you have any regrets about what happened? It was rash and unplanned and really, really stupid of us." Hazel sighed, referring to the fact that they had not used a condom.

"But we love each other and if we can conquer this thing, then we'll make it." He tried to re-convince her.

"You see. That's the thing. I don't think it makes much since to get attached right now. I'm about to leave and we both know that."

"Being scared is no reason to back down. I thought you cared Hazel? I bet if I was walking on two legs, you wouldn't care!" Jimmy yelled using rage to cover up his hurt.

"You're wrong. If you weren't in a wheelchair, we would've never done it Jimmy. I only did it because I felt sorry for you. I felt sorry for you and I felt like I was missing out because everyone else was getting some but me? Are you happy now? Are you."

Jimmy wheeled over to the door, opening it for her. "You know the way out."

**New Scene**

"Do you think I should forgive him Marco? He's trying really hard." Ellie sighed, referring to the bouquet of flowers that were attached to her locker.

"Who says they are from him? It could be anyone." He chimed in.

"Like that cute new guy." Ellie watched a confused curly-headed blonde boy walk around the school.

"And totally un-gay. Just my luck." Marco pouted. "But he's just right for you. Go ahead." Marco pushed her in front of the guy as they bumped into one another.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. It was my friend he--"

"Whatever." The guy responded, walking past Ellie. She looked to Marco for guidance, who was motioning for her to follow him.

"So anyway, I'll Ellie Nash." He shrugged.

"I don't care."

"Yeah. I'll see you."

**New Scene**

"Jay, what the hell is up?" Emma wondered, stepping in between Alex and Jay.

"We're hanging out. Chill." Jay scooped Emma up in his arms as Alex looked away, noticing Ellie chase after some guy. How cute.

"Well, I heard about your party last night. Why wasn't I invited?" Emma pouted as the confused guy that Ellie had been talking to walked up to Alex.

"Hey, do you know where Ms. Kwan's class is."

"Yeah." Alex nodded, happy to be distracted from Emma and Jay getting all googly-eyed, while she was stranded in another 'Anna original.' This time she was wearing something from the Blu Sphere catalog, an Adidas sweatshirt and tight ecko jeans. She hated it.

"Well, are you going to show me where it is?"

"I don't even know who you are." Alex spat out, loving that she was making this poor kid squirm.

"Scott Barringer."

"That's nice." Alex looked back over at Jay. "I'll see you at your house, okay?" She smiled, touching his stomach softly, inwardly laughing herself. That would teach Emma to walk around like she owned him, and this Scott person to try and hit on her. Alex was swearing off guys for a while … at least real relationships.

**New Scene**

"We're at an LFO concert? Ahh!" Manny screamed as soon as they got out of the van.

"Yeah. My man Craig here, pointed this concert out to us and we thought it would be a good experience for you guys to see what we want." Dani explained as Manny smiled at Craig shyly.

"Thank you." She mouthed as her and the other girls rushed towards their seats. This would be awesome. Wrapped up in the concert and seeing her favorite group, she forgot all about her plans with Kiowi and her discomfort around Craig. Tonight was all about having fun.

**New Scene**

"I'll do it." Ellie whispered to Gianni, no longer to take watching him poke around this poor frog's body. "Give me the money for the software and we can hang out. But that's it. Oh yeah. I need extra software money for Ashley."

"Cool." Gianni smiled, reaching to give Ellie a hug.

"Do not touch me." Ellie backed away, returning her forms to the teacher and giving Ashley a look.

"I guess I'll see you after school tomorrow. What do you want to do?" Gianni wondered.

"This is not my idea of fun. I don't care what you do, but I have to be home by five."

**New Scene**

"That was awesome what you did for me." Manny thanked Craig, still giddy from meeting the LFO guys backstage. "It was really … wonderful." She hugged him suddenly.

"Manny … uh … do you think that maybe it's possible that you're here because of me—I don't mean that I got you the job, but that maybe we're meant to like … I don't know … be together?"

"Oh, Craig--"

"I know you're with this great guy now, but he can't give you what I can. I really want to work this out Manny. I do. I hate to see you with anyone but me." Craig confessed as tears dropped from Manny's eyes onto Craig's shoulder.

"Oh God. You always know how to make this so hard. You know I can't …"

**New Scene**

"Hey. Wait up! I found Ms. Kwan's class!" Scott yelled at Alex, who seemed vaguely reminiscent of the people he was used to being around at his old school, Horizon.

"Goody for you." Alex grabbed a tray, straying from the artificially prepared food products. "Now go away. You're annoying me."

"Just as well. I heard you were a skank."

"You what?" Alex's eyes flashed as Scott broke out into a smile. "Why are you hanging around me kid? You believe that skank shit?"

"You remind me of someone I know."

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. There is no way this is real fish." Emma poked at Jay's food as his attention turned over to Alex.

"What the hell?" He muttered, noticing Alex smiling at a guy he had never seen before.

"Jay. Pay attention. The food's gotten worse since I tried to do my campaign back in grade nine. This is horrible."

"Yeah. Sure is." He nodded, talking more about Alex and this guy more than the fish sandwich.

**New Scene**

"Where have you been?" Kiowi asked Manny who walked into the hotel at 2am.

"Kiowi? Oh no. I forgot to call you honey. We had this emergency meeting that we had to go to. We watched these people perform so that we could learn to emulate them. I would've called, but I got so preoccupied. I apologize." Manny began, neglecting to tell Kiowi the entire truth, and about how she had her lips on Craig's just moments earlier.

"Is that all you can say? You forgot about me? I left Canada and came to L.A. for you. What is this Manny?"

"I said I'm sorry. Can't we just forget it?"

"No. We cannot." Kiowi replied as Manny rolled her eyes. "I question whether or not you even care anymore."

"Don't be like this. I do. I do." Manny kissed him as if to prove something that she didn't even believe in anymore.

"I think. I'm just going to go … I'm going back to Ontario." Kiowi sighed, dragging his suitcase to the door as if he had already planned it.

"You're what? Does this mean we're breaking up?" Kiowi refused to answer as Manny called Craig to come comfort her.

"What's wrong?" Craig asked, noticing Manny's tear-stained face.

"Just kiss me." Manny commanded as she acted on her feelings for Craig, deciding that touring with him wouldn't be so bad. She was going to get the chance that Ashley stole from her, which would all lead her back to Kiowi, who would never know anything about it. She hoped.

(A/N: Somehow, this is my most-visited story so I knew I had to update it. If you love this one, you'll like _Wild Horses_ and _Fool of Me _is something different that gives all of Degrassi's characters a voice. So review. --NL)


	10. You're Telling Me You Really Need Me

Chapter Ten: You're Telling Me You Really Need Me

(A/N: You guys seem to like this story, so I updated … not much, but I want reviews and more dirt will come next time. Who do you want to be together and what would you like to happen? Express yourself! –NL)

"So, where are you taking me tonight?" Emma wondered, hanging all over Jay after their heavy make-out session.

"Don't know. Do we really need to go out tonight?" Jay shot back as Emma crawled off of him and into the passenger's side.

"I get that your moody, but what is up? Do you want to be with me or Alex?" Emma shot out bluntly.

"This isn't going back to her again, is it? Alex is just trying to make me mad, just because she was the one being an idiot--"

"And this all happened at the party I wasn't invited to." Emma pouted as Jay rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't you get mad at me too." He pouted, still confused as to whether he should settle for what he already had or go after something that was in his past.

"I'm not mad, but I've got to go." Emma sighed, hopping out of the car and walking into step with Ellie.

"I need your advice." Emma began immediately.

"Since when do you confide in me? Since when do we even live in the same atmosphere?" Ellie wondered, stunned.

"Look, you took Sean from me and I can completely compromise on being upset about that. But, how did you control him?"

"Excuse me?" Ellie stopped, wholly taken aback by this situation.

"You know, how did you make sure he didn't … stray and go back to me?"

"I didn't." Ellie paused. "Sean and I had an understanding. He knew that I wasn't holding him back and if he wanted to, we would end it, vice versa. What is this really about Emma?"

"Nothing." She shrugged, upset that she hadn't gotten the answer she was seeking. What was her next step? Talking to Alex was pointless and Jay was denying there was even a problem. "Where are you when I need you … somebody!"

**New Scene**

"Ready?" Gianni snuck up behind Ellie, who was still pondering that Emma dilemma from earlier.

"Whatever." Ellie rolled her eyes, not even showing an ounce of kindness.

"You have to at least _look _at me."

"That was never apart of the deal." Ellie argued. "I could end this right now. Do you realize that? Let's just get this over with."

**New Scene**

"I think we need to talk." Hazel knocked on Jimmy's house door.

"Come in. Did you come to apologize?"

"No." Hazel answered. "I don't think I owe you one. I was totally justified in what I was feeling and will never apologize for it. I can't help how I feel or who I love." She hugged Jimmy suddenly.

"That's it? No please take me back?" He joked as she kissed him suddenly.

"No. Things are just really different between us now and I don't know if I can handle it."

"Are you saying--"

"I don't know what I'm saying." Hazel smiled, kissing Jimmy slowly.

"Hazel Aden." Her blood curled, hearing her father's voice. "Let's go."

"Okay." She smiled, wondering what was going on. "I'll see you later tonight Jimmy."

"No she won't." Mr. Aden joined in.

"I won't?"

"No. We'll talk about it later."

"No. Let's talk about it now. Let's dad." Hazel demanded.

"You're going to an all-girls school--"

"I already _know _that." Hazel looked back at Jimmy.

"Staring next week." He finished.

**New Scene**

"I'm bored with you. Go away little boy." Alex breathed, noticing that Emma had dragged Jay in the opposite direction. She was so jealous and it was so obvious.

"You think you can use me like that?" Scott asked, his voice rising. "You don't know me."

"Pretty boy who's had everything that he's wanted except his token tom-boy girl." Alex pulled out a cigarette. "No thanks. You've been around the block way too many times for me … probably tried the other side too."

"And you haven't?" Scott responded as Alex smiled despite herself.

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't know." Scott shrugged, but he did want something. Alex was … different from Shelby, which was exactly what he needed. That last thing he wanted was a repeat of a beautiful sexually molested blonde breaking his heart.

"I want something from you then." Alex put out her cigarette. "I want you to make Jay's life a living hell."

"Who's Jay?"

"You'll know when you see him staring at us, such a loser." Alex narrowed her voice. She didn't want Jay or Scott, but it was fun to have some control over her life and predict what such unoriginal guys would do.

**New Scene**

"You are so off today." Aaron whispered to Manny who shrugged.

"I know. This week has been crazy."

"Not an excuse. Come up with a better one." Manny continued dancing as Dani shook his head and the entire group stopped.

"Have you not been practicing?"

"Are you looking at me?" Manny wondered.

"Do you want this or not _Manny_?"

"Of course. I'm trying--"

"Try **harder**." Dani demanded while Manny looked back at Craig who wouldn't even give her a second glance.

"Idiot!"

"Who, Craig?" Aaron smiled, his permanent smile.

"No, me." The music started and the couple's started dancing again, leaving Manny to wonder if this what was she _really _wanted. Thinking showbiz would be so differently, she initially jumped at the chance, but now … it was turning out just to be like high school.

(A/N: I must have reviews and one isn't cutting it … let me know that people are reading esp. when it's getting harder for me to come up with more ideas. So review!)


	11. Crying, Begging Both Knees are On

Chapter Eleven: Crying, Begging Both Knees are On the Floor

**New Scene**

"Hey Alex!" Scott rushed to catch up with her as she slipped her sunglasses halfway off of her face. "What's with the glasses?" He wondered as Alex pushed them back on quickly. She didn't want anyone to talk about the huge bruise she had on her left eye.

"I don't want you talking to me." She decided.

"What about making Jay's life harder or whatever?"

"Always following me around, doesn't it get boring?" Alex reached into her back pocket for a cigarette. "I thought you were supposed to be hard."

"Stop acting like something's up your ass. You're the only chick I know here." Scott shot back as Alex smirked, surprised. Blondie boy had a mouth on him.

"Don't worry about what's up my ass." Alex paused. "You got a light?" She pointed at the cigarette still impressed by how he took her shit for with a grain of salt. Everyone around here got uptight about it …even Jay freaked out when she was at that party. Who cared?

"No, I don--"

"Save it." Alex rolled her eyes, putting the cigarette away. Her bruise was starting to ache. "Cigarette's suck, I know but are you ready for this?" Alex quickly pulled out a joint as Scott looked away. "Don't tell me you're a goody-good. Come on. There might be something in it for you." She lied really just liking the power she had over Scott. It felt good to add to his delinquency.

**SCENE **

"Where you going? We're not done yet!" Dani yelled at Manny who ran out because she couldn't take it anymore. Sitting up there and watching Craig, but pretending not to watch him … and he was so wrapped in what he was doing that he didn't care about the fact that he had just ruined her life.

"I'll get her." Aaron declared, with a clinched jaw. He glared at Craig. Because of his little love affair they were behind schedule and he was going to say whatever necessary to get Manny to stay.

"Don't say anything to me. I'm already leaving!" Manny yelled, thinking that it was Craig.

"Manny--"

"Oh. I thought you were … never mind." Manny whispered. "The one time I have to pursue my dream and who stands in the way? Craig, yet again. It's like he's a ghost haunting me or something."

"If I were him, I'd be stalking you too." Aaron joked, getting Manny to crack a smile. "You've gotta just go back in there and finish this thing. You gave up your school year for this."

"Which I am so regretting right now. Look, Aaron I really need to make this call." Manny pulled out her cell phone. Kiowi was on her mind again.

"He won't want to talk with you, but I will … let's just skip out on the rest of rehearsal tonight. I promise if you don't have a good time, I'll let you leave. I won't say anything."

"You'll _let _me leave?" Manny smirked. "What am I like, ten?"

"You know you want to. Come on." Aaron grabbed her hand and pulled her in the direction of the limo.

"Way to be discreet. You know how crazy American fans can get." Manny sighed. "Let's take my car." She decided before she could change her mind.

**SCENE **

"Close your eyes." Gianni muttered as Ellie reluctantly agreed. "Okay, open them!" He called from a farway location.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Rose petals? How original." She continued noticing that the emptiness of the restaurant was starting to freak her out. "Can we get out of here?"

"What? I thought we had an agreement." Gianni rushed up to her, confused. "You'll miss the surprise."

"I don't care about the damn surprise. I want out of here, _now _Gianni."

"Just stay for a little while Ellie." He pleaded, reaching for her hand.

"No! Don't … I've gotta go." Ellie backed away quickly walking out of the restaurant. That was exactly how he … she couldn't believe that Gianni had done that, especially since he knew her history.

**SCENE **

"So this is it hon? You're leaving?" Paige burst into tears holding onto her best friend tightly.

"Yeah, but I won't be going to that all girls school." Hazel whispered.

"You won't?" Paige looked up confused. "How are you…"

"I'm gonna withdraw and take all that money they're spending there and doing something with it. I'm gonna live _my _life _my _way." Hazel kissed Paige on the cheek. "Don't worry. You're like a sister to me and I'll come back … promise."

"And what about Jimmy?"

"What about him … we made a really big mess. I wish I could fix it." Hazel looked around for him at the airport, pretending not to be hurt, but she was. "I love you guys." She turned around, hugging Marco tightly and Ashley before heading towards the plane.

"What do you want me to tell him?" Paige asked as Hazel stopped in her tracks.

"Just tell him…" Hazel played with her hands. "Tell him I said goodbye." She rushed to away from her friends, her family who she was no longer talking to, and everything that resembled Degrassi. And she didn't even get to see Jimmy. He didn't even show up.

**SCENE **

"I am so fucking high right now." Alex laughed as Scott fell back onto the grass beside her. "The stars are … bright." She giggled again.

"They're aren't any stars." He mumbled as Alex looked at him strangely.

"Don't ruin my high." She rolled her eyes, passing the rest of the joint to him. "You'll feel better. Promise."

Scott stared at the joint uneasily. He'd been there so many times—where Alex was—and knew what it felt like. It was good. It felt so good. Nothing mattered and he would be floating for what seemed like forever.

But then he started to think about Elaine and Horizon. He didn't want to remember.

"I have to go." He explained as Alex jumped up beside him.

"Stay with me. Please?" She smiled gazing at him deeply.

"Yeah. Sure." With one puff, all of his stress was steadily seething from his body. Shelby didn't matter, neither did Elanie or his dad, just this moment. Just this Alex. Just this high.

**SCENE **

"You're taking me shopping? How awesome are you!" Manny exclaimed after she and Aaron had gotten some ice cream, which was like her favorite comfort food of all time.

"Get whatever you want, on me but the arcade first."

"Typical dude." Manny smiled. "I warn you, I used to be awesome at that old Mortal Combat game." As they scoped out the place, Manny's phone rang. "What if it's Dani?"

"It's not. Don't answer it." Aaron suggested.

"It's Gianni. I haven't talk to him in forever. Chill out for a second, okay?"

"Manny, when are you coming back? I'm really sick of this Ellie shit." He complained.

"But you cheated on her—wait, did something happen?" Manny asked, interested.

"I tried to take her out. We actually went out and I did the whole restaurant thing--"

"That I taught you?" Manny interrupted.

"Yeah. Yeah, but instead of loving it, Ellie totally freaked out about it. I thought that if I reminded her of how we got together she'd take me back or something."

"So now you're admitting that a chick has you on a leash?" Manny chuckled to herself. "Classic. I'm almost jealous of her.

"You followed the scent of Craig's behind didn't you?"

"Ha. Ha. Thanks for bringing that asshole up. I'm coming home tomorrow. Meet me in the airport." She demanded.

"You're what?"

"I'll call you before I get on the plane. Be there." Manny hung up the phone quickly. Leave it to Gianni to bring her back down to the real world.

"What's up? You look down again." Aaron noticed.

"Yeah. I am. Can we rain check on this? I really need to get wasted right now."

**SCENE **

"Tell me that wasn't better than Kwan's class again?" Alex wondered as the high started to wear off a little.

"Yeah." Scott still seemed detached.

"Are you like one of those weird freaky people that gets all depressed and shit when under the influence? I can't deal with that." Alex admitted, pulling out a cigarette. She was starting to get stressed again.

"No. I'm cool." Scott whispered, detached. "What happened to your eye?"

"Nothing." Alex touched her face, realizing her sunglasses were gone. "We should get going, you know school's out and all."

"We?"

"I." Alex grabbed up her things, and tried to place her hair halfway in her face. She didn't want to hear any rumors going around about her tomorrow.

"Alex." Jay pulled up beside her in his car. "Hop in. I'll take you."

Exchanging glances with Scott she shrugged. "I've got everything I need right here." She smiled, wrapping her arm around Scott's waist. In an angry fit, Jay drove off with squealing tires, but not before flicking them off.

**SCENE **

"Are you wasted enough now?" Aaron wondered, watching Manny dancing on one of the tables at the club he snuck her into.

"Not yet. Come here!" She yelled almost falling off the bar trying to reach him. "Come on. Take a shot off me!" Manny grinned, getting a tube, jell-o, and a shaker from the bartender.

"Let's get back girl." Aaron called back, worried about the growing crowd that was gathering. Something like this could be bad publicity for them—but Dani always said negative exposure was better than none.

"Hurry." Manny commanded, pulling Aaron really close to her.

Before Aaron could barely get tube of alcohol down, Manny pounced on him, kissing him wildly. "Manny…" He mumbled, as she lead him into one of the back rooms.

"Don't say anything. Don't ruin it." Manny begged, making this process as quick as she could. The more "foreplay" the skipped, the faster they'd get to the part that would make her feel better. Who cared if she didn't love him or about the love triangle she was already in? This was Manny's way of taking things into her own hands.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked when he heard Manny sniffing.

"Yeah. I suck at being drunk okay. It'll pass. Don't ruin it." She repeated wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall on him. "I so want this."

**SCENE **

"Alex." Ms. Nunez looked up at her still-high teenage daughter.

"Hi mom. Why aren't you at work?" She asked.

"I'm so sorry about last night baby." Ms. Nunez held her daughter close.

"Don't."

"He's won't touch you anymore. You guys won't be under the same roof anymore." She promised.

"And how are you gonna do that mom? You suck at it, see." Alex pointed to her bruise. "And don't forget that time he almost …"

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you Alex."

"Wait. There's something going on here." Alex noted, seeing that her mom was here, and evidently _been _here and was apologizing—and she wasn't drunk or anything.

"Yeah, there is … I quit my job."

"What? We can't afford to live here without your job, much less without his income." Alex shook her head angrily. "Go over there and say you changed your mind or whatever. This can't work."

"You're right. It's not." Ms. Nunex muttered quietly. "I hate seeing you destroy yourself like this Alex. You have to finish high school and college. You can't be like me." She hugged Alex tightly as though trying to make up for all those years of no-good boyfriend after no-good husbands.

"Do you have any idea what my scores look like? There's no way any college will take a C minus student. Let's not mention that we're BROKE." Alex shook her head. "You're on some deep shit right now. Talk to me later."

"Don't walk away from me!" Ms. Nunez yelled, and she never rose her voice at Alex. "You're going to claim yourself as an independent and the government will pay for you to go to college. You can start off at a community school." She handed Alex some pamphlets. "You've really been supporting yourself this whole last year."

"You're trying to get rid of me. Tell me what's really going on here." Alex demanded.

"You need to leave here, quickly." Ms. Nunez explained. As Alex stood in disbelief, Ms. Nunez shouted again. "But just let me ex--"

"No use. Pack my things and I'll come by tomorrow for them." Alex struggled to keep her voice narrow and unfeeling. "Can you come get me?" She wondered, making one quick call before leaving and not even looking her mom in the eye.

Alex was lucky that she kept her composure. With all that was bubbling inside, something was bound to erupt sooner or later. As she walked away from the house, everything felt cold and frozen. There was no way this could be real. There was no way she just got kicked out by her mother, the same mother that promised to always be there for her.

"You needed a ride?" Alex nodded hopping into the car she had ridden in so many times before.

"I need to spend the night again … I don't know for how long."

(a/n: I was supposed to put this up yesterday, but the ideas just wouldn't come. I think I'm slowly getting back on track with this so stay tuned. I should be updating once a week or once every two weeks on Fridays. Check out the schedule below and Review! –NL)

Tuesdays: Fool of Me/In the Deep

Thursdays: Wild Horses Two: La Tortura

Fridays: Double Standard or Beautiful Goodbye

Saturdays/Sundays: You're Gonna Burn Before You're Mellow


	12. But Baby I

Chapter Twelve: But Baby I

"You always complain about how much your parents suck, but they don't compare to mine. Mom kicked me out." Alex gorged on the brownies Jay placed before her.

"Please. My parents have kicked me out all the time. I'm not even supposed to be here now, but who's gonna know? With their houses all over the world, who knows when they're gonna show up. Someone needs to watch out for the place." Jay smiled, chugging some beer.

"So you and Emma keep guard over the place? Nice. The school prude and the school pig."

"I'm a pig now? Even after saving your ass again?"

"You're not saving me. We're just … I don't know, but I'm in control here." Alex spat out. She liked this—not the whole actually _being _with Jay for real, but being with him like this.

"Are you pregnant or something?"

"What? I don't do babies. You know that." Alex stuffed another brownie into her mouth, whole.

"Whoa." Jay laughed looking at her messy face. "What did you do then."

"What did I do?" She mumbled, finishing her brownie before continuing. "I'm a burden to her and she made up some stupid excuse about me going to college and claiming myself as an independent. Then she kicked me out. What am I going to do? I work _partime_. I have no place to stay and no money since all my money's gone to helping her pay for that trailer."

"You at university." Jay chuckled.

"Why is that funny?" Alex punched him in the shoulder.

"Look, I know you're a 'genius' and all, but you hate school Alex. You always want to skip classes--"

"Yeah because they're all about garbage. We just read the same reincarnated shit and sit around and interpret it like it even matters." Alex sighed. "School does suck. _HIGH SCHOOL._" She corrected.

"So what would you stay at university?"

"Interior design."

"What? You've been thinking about this, haven't you?" Jay asked in amazement.

"And you'd take car theft 101." Alex shot back, embarrassed that she had shared her dreams with anyone else.

"Why design?" Jay asked mockingly.

"Because you can do whatever you want with it… but when I look around our trailer … I don't know … I always imagine how much better it could look and I don't want to live in a trailer forever … I want to build my dream house …" Alex kept talking in incoherent fragments. When she stopped, she looked at Jay expectantly.

"What?"

"What would you do?" She wondered.

"One, I would never go to university. Two, if I did … I'd be one of those dirty cops. You know the ones that get to beat people up, harass them, toss them around a little. Either that or Toronto's next biggest drug dealer."

"And you'd go to business school to do that, wouldn't you?" Alex joked shaking her head. Jay could never be serious. "I could totally see you as … a psychologist, but rather than helping them you'd mess them up even more, but make them think you're helping. You'd be the best in the nation and the stupid idiots would keep coming back. Take all the bastard's money." She joked as Jay opened his hands out for a hug.

"I miss this."

"Don't say that. Last time I was at your house, you hated me." Alex sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "Promise me that … that if I go to university you'll go with. I mean--"

"What is going _on _in here? I'm trying to get some rest!" Emma's voice echoed through the empty household. Alex glared at Jay accusingly, prying herself from his grasp.

"Wait." Jay chased after her as she pulled a jacket over her arms.

"Have your cake and eat it too? I think not." Alex shook her head with Jay. This is exactly why it could never work. They got along and then fought, loved each other then hated each other … all the time. I was so tiring.

"Just listen. Emma stays here a few times a year. She'll be gone tomorrow. Just stay Lexi. You don't have anywhere else to go." Jay begged.

"I'll call Scott to come pick me up." She walked over to his phone, but he took it from her.

"I'll go to university with you."

"You swear?"

"On my life." Jay smiled.

"On your car." Alex crossed her arms as Jay helped her carry her bags up the stairs. Before

going to bed, he handed her an ice pack.

"For your … you know." She smiled in response. He didn't make it a big deal … her black eye. Everyone else thought it was the end of the world, but he totally got it … and got her, at least for now. There was always tomorrow for her to hate him.

**Scene**

Ellie could still see the petals. They were like a black-red, thick, threatening, just like blood. She couldn't believe Gianni would be so thoughtless. Anything red reminded her or blood.

"Wouldn't he know that?" She complained to Ashley who was so wrapped up in not thinking about Craig even though she was.

"Know what?"

"Never mind." Ellie sighed. She must've been thinking that in her head. She did that a lot now. "Do you think I should give Gianni a second chance?"

"I did the same thing with Craig and look what happened." Ashley sighed. "He cheated again _and _then moved away. Can you believe that?"

"He's living his dream Ellie. You can't hate him for that." She reasoned.

"Oh, but I can and I do. How could he leave me like that? I always thought we had the same dreams and goals in life, but I guess not."

"I used to think that too, with Sean." Ellie sighed. "We so have to stop moping. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Studying like the pathetic nerd I've become." Ashley groaned.

"Can Ms. Valedictorian take some time out of her schedule to have a slumber party with her best friend?" Ellie wondered.

"Okay … but only if I can invite all of best friends."

**Scene**

"Hazel!" Jimmy called through the glass, but it was already too late. The plane was taking off.

"What took you so long hon? She was really bummed that you weren't there." Paige commented.

"I know. I tried to get here as soon as I could. We had this honor society thing and I--"

"You ditched Hazel for a meeting? Wait till she hears this." Paige smirked.

"It's not funny. This is serious. Don't you realize I'll never see her again?" Jimmy broke out, almost in tears.

"Don't worry. I have a feeling she'll be back … a lot." Jimmy looked up at Paige suspiciously. "Don't those all girls' schools get practically every holiday off?" She covered with a shrug.

"I guess. When's the next one?"

"Valentine's Day."

**Scene**

"I don't get why _she's _here." Emma sneered as she, Jay, and Alex sat down for breakfast.

"You're going to learn to be cordial to one another. I've known Alex … forever and you're my woman." Jay kissed her lustfully as Alex rolled her eyes.

"Call me when the porno's over." She spat out.

"Jealous much?" Emma asked with a smile.

"Eat much? You look like a skeleton. You might want to stop that binge exercise thing."

"Binge exercise? It's _excessive _exercising and I'm naturally blessed with a perfect body, unlike some."

"I'm two seconds from breaking that long nose of yours. You want to keep going?" Alex threatened, as Jay stepped in between the two.

"Why don't you try talking about something you have in common." He suggested.

"Well, Alex and I went out with the same guy--"

"And you took my sloppy seconds." Jay grabbed her jacket. "I'll wait in the car."

"Back seat!" Emma yelled as Alex threw a shoe at her. The heel almost hit Emma in the eye. "She's a little crazy … I don't want her around you." She pouted, hugging Jay.

"She just likes to mess with people. Lexi is awesome." Jay grinned, immersed in his own memories of his ex.

"And just who are you dating, me or her?"

"You of course Emma. I already told you. You know." Jay kissed her softly.

"Good because I think I'm falling in love with you." Trying _not _to look terrified, Jay reciprocated Emma's kiss. Love? Who believed in love anymore? Things were way too up and down with his first 'love' and Emma was more like … entertainment than anything else. How was he supposed to tell her that though.

**Scene**

"You bailed. Loser." Gianni lightly pushed Manny was beginning to feel a little down. She and Aaron had slept together, Craig apparently found out or watched … whatever. He knew and she ran back to Degrassi.

"I didn't bail. It wasn't for me."

"But you love dance." Gianni protested.

"Not anymore. I'd rather kick your ass in baseball."

"You can't even hit the ball right." He argued back.

"All the guys I know say I have perfect aim." She joked.

"Slut." Gianni lightly pushed her again as Manny's smile faded.

"Do you really think I am?" She asked, teary-eyed.

"No. You're a cool chick, like one of the guys. You're not a bull shit tease and you up front with it." She wrapped her arm around Gianni's waist.

"For such a clueless loser, you know exactly what to say." She chuckled. "And Ellie's still got you on a leash."

"Does not." He protested.

"Sure." Manny relaxed a little. Today, she'd be okay. Tomorrow would be hell. Seeing Kiowi again. She had to talk to him before a Degrassi show-down in front of _everyone._

(A/N: I finally made it to my story summary! It may me a little short, but I did it … well, it's not done yet but it'll only be no more than 5 chapters before this ends. I'll actually finish this one. Yah! –NL)

Thanks to:

cici-tweety93

mamabearno1

seanny22

BlackRoseOnFire

fluffymello

Etom

degrassilover39

caligymnast2006

Splish

Hm4h

COL

knightsgurl

alchemy dream

Lauren

grumpybear62684

ilovedc

ellieincarnate

caramelswirl11

blueprincess972

Kendall

Aznbeauties

correctionrock

MoMO4ShoSho

Chaneljcoco

Update Schedule

Tuesdays: Fool of Me/In the Deep

Thursdays: Wild Horses Two: La Tortura

Fridays: Double Standard or Beautiful Goodbye (COMPLETE)

Saturdays/Sundays: You're Gonna Burn Before You're Mellow


	13. Don't Want to Try

Chapter Thirteen: Don't Want to Try 

"You look content. Did the little princess suck your--"

"Hey, not so loud. She has a rep to protect." Jay placed a hand over Alex's mouth.

"Don't ever touch me like that again."

"What happened to that thing … what's it called GRATITUDE?"

"Actually, after all the shit you put me through, you owe me asshole." Alex shrugged it off, bumping into Ellie and Gianni. "Hey." She squeaked out, staring at the guy who had once replaced Jay in her life.

"Will you just explain it to me?" Gianni wondered, not even noticing Alex.

"No. I did you wanted. The end." Ellie rushed off as Alex stood watching.

"Broke your heart? I'm sorry." Alex shrugged, giving Gianni fake sympathy.

"Look Nunez, I already explained what we were to me, a nice piece of ass, that's it." Gianni shrugged as Manny appeared taking her arm in his.

"Tough luck huh?" Jay came from the background, rubbing it in Alex's face. Stupid! Why did she set herself up for failure like that. She knew … she knew that she was Degrassi's most _unwanted _girl.

"Where have you been?" Scott wondered on cue, saving Alex from her humiliation. "Come on." Taking charge, he grabbed Alex's hand as she looked back at Jay smugly. What could she say? Suddenly, she existed again.

**

* * *

**

"I swear Gianni. This day has been like the worst for me ever. Everyone is staring. I thought they'd be into knowing about the band and everything but everyone just seems so angry. I don't get it." Manny sighed, waving at Emma who scowled in response. "There is some seriously freaky shi--"

"Could it be this?" Gianni snatched up a newspaper from Toby with the headline being about Manny and Craig's romance. "Wow. National news." He smiled stupidly.

"Jackass, don't you get it? _This _is why everyone hates me … they think I cheated on Kiowi." Manny swallowed deeply. This was definitely NOT good.

"Did you?"

"Gianni." Manny pushed him playfully. "What do you think?"

"You've been holding out on me. I knew I was rubbing off on you." Gianni hugged Manny tightly, kissing her on the forehead. "Does that make my little baby feel better?"

"Shut up Gianni. This thing with Craig is old news. It's over." Manny held the books closer to her chest. "Besides, I'm just glad that didn't find about last night."

"Last night … so the plot thickens." He joked. "I knew you were a closet—"

"Slut!" Kiowi yelled, throwing down the paper. "Now I know why you were acting like that … Craig? They were right about you."

"Kiowi … get over it. You said you didn't want to be with me anymore. Why do you care?" Manny took a stance, crumbling inside but trying to put on a façade of fierceness.

"I was willing to give you everything." He threw down their promise ring.

"You kept it?" Manny sudden began to feel extremely guilty. "I thought…"

"I _loved _you Manny."

"I'm so sorry Kiowi. I-I …" She reached out to touch him, but he moved away like she was fire.

"Get your skanky hands away from me."

"That was original." Gianni piped up, trying to make Manny feel better. "You want me to beat his ass?"

"No. I can do that without you." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Should I even care?"

"That's not the question. _Do _you care?" He asked as Manny spent the whole day being harassed—because she had cheated on the so-called cutest, most popular guy in school … and she was trying to make herself care … about Kiowi, but all she could think about was one person…

**

* * *

**

"You totally saved my ass back there golden boy." Alex joked turning around to see Jay's shocked face. "I owe you." She wrapped her hands around his waist, expecting him to turn her away, but he didn't. It was so ... natural and such a ... distraction from her mom and Jay.

"You don't owe me anything." Scott assured her, handing her a joint.

"In school? You're bold."

"I want to get out of here." He admitted, looking sad.

"What's up with you?" Alex wondered, leaning against the wall with him. She needed to her someone else's issues to make her life seem a little better.

"I'm not about to get all sentimental on you. Let's just do this and … I'll take you home after school sometime." Scott smiled at Alex, getting more and more into her. She was unlike any other girl he'd met, which was cool, real cool.

**

* * *

**

'Skank! Slut! Whore!' were the words that Manny heard for the entire day, whenever Gianni wasn't around of course. He had done this share of fighting for the day. Ms. H tried to put her "no tolerance" policy into affect. But, by the next day, kids found more subtle ways to destroy her.

"I hate it here." Manny sighed, re-thinking the outfit she wore. A mini-skirt. Why had she done that? So many guys had grabbed her ass today not to mention that her locker was destroyed … soda all over her books. "Maybe I should become a nun."

"You think that will stop the name calling? Catholic school? Like you would fit in there Manny." Gianni shot back.

"You don't get it. It's different when you're a girl. It's not like a sleep around a lot, I don't. I'm just not in a relationship right now and sometimes you just want to … you know. Or sometimes it just happens and there's nothing you can--"

"You don't have to explain it to me." Gianni responded, his gaze following Ellie.

"What's so great about her? Didn't she steal other people's boyfriend's too?"

"Yeah, but she didn't get caught."

"I have to find a way to make this stop. I mean, even _Emma _is looking down on me."

"Uh-huh. Do what you have to do. I'll see you later." Gianni gave Manny's hand a squeeze before she was left to brave the halls of Degrassi alone. This time, she had a plan, a really good one.

**

* * *

**

"You're not new to this." Alex noted, looking at how Scott took the drag with ease. "You never told me why you're at Degrassi. It's obviously not to become valedictorian." She joked referencing how many classes that had skipped together lately.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What did you impregnate some girl or do a big drug bust? You ran away because some girl broke your little heart?" Alex pinched his cheeks as Scott pushed her away.

"Don't SAY that!"

"Don't ever put your hands on me again." Alex shoved him harshly into the brick wall, holding up a threatening fist.

"Sorry … does someone hit you at home or something?" Scott asked as Alex ripped the joint from his hands.

"I'm not at liberty to say something until you share."

"I will when--"

"Scottie! Scottie." A brown-haired woman ran up to the two as Scott looked down at his cell phone clock.

"Shit. It's after two-thirty." He muttered, the mood suddenly becoming very heavy.

"What's up with you? You know _that_?" Alex smirked. This woman was at least in her mid-thirties yet trying to pretend like she was a teenager. Plastic surgery on her lips, her cheeks, her eyes … and evidently her breasts too.

"Look, just go Alex. I'll talk to you later." Scott gave Alex a small push, tipping her balance.

"What the he--"

"Scottie." The woman moved closer, giving him a no-so-innocent hug. "I heard you've been skipping class."

"Who are you?" Alex stepped in curiously.

"Elaine, just go." Scott begged, suddenly looking powerless, both still ignoring Alex.

"Come on Scottie. You know what your punishment is going to be. You've been a bad, bad boy." She pouted, desperately trying and failing to be sexy.

"Scott?"

"Alex and I are working on a school project. We were just doing some research for it." He lied.

"Research? Outside?" She scoffed, amused.

"Sociology. You know society and how it affects us or some shit." She looked at Elaine like she was stupid. Alex already knew her kind."You're in the back with me." Alex demanded looked at Scott, her hand brushing his lightly.

"I'm not a chauffeur. Scott's in the front. We still have some business to talk." Elaine smiled. The entire ride to the Barringer house was quiet and uneasy. Alex watched intensely as Elaine ran her hand up and down Scott's leg as he eased away from her. Weird, very weird.

**

* * *

**

"Kiowi, I need to talk to you." Manny demanded after pushing through a crowd of hormone-driven boys. "Now and alone."

"Talk to me? Talk to _me_?" He scoffed. "I've said all I have to say to you, skank." He turned his back to Manny.

"I promise it'll be worth your while." Manny handed him the promise ring he threw to the floor days earlier. "Just listen to me." She took his hand as Kiowi followed her.

"You want to get back together after all of this?"

"I want my life back Kiowi. I thought you would understand. Don't you get it?" She asked with a sigh. "I'll do whatever okay? Just call off the dogs." Manny kissed him suddenly as Kiowi's group of friends followed him looking to him for how to react.

"Privacy please?" Kiowi wondered, thinking of his own plan to get Manny back. "Meet me tomorrow at my place for dinner. We'll talk."

**

* * *

**

"You were holding out on me." Alex accused as they reached Scott's house. "This is like one of the biggest houses in Toronto and you … you made me think something was wrong with you. I bet it was funny. Did you get your laugh?"

"Would you be quiet for a second Alex? I'm trying to figure a way out of this one." Scott explained.

"Whatever you're talking about, I can't play along anymore. I'll be downstairs and then I'm gone." Alex threatened as Scott shrugged. She couldn't protect him from Elaine.

"So your girlfriend's gone?" Elaine smiled. "You know I always knew deep down you had a thing for brunettes." She pushed Scott towards the Jacuzzi. "You know the drill."

Pulling off her sheer overcoat, Elaine revealed a teeny bikini that would be able to seduce any man, over forty.

"Please Elaine." Scott begged, upset that his high was gone. It was always a lot harder to keep it whenever she came around. "My dad might come back." He suggested as Elaine began kissing him anyway.

"You know I'll tell him about your drug problem if you don't," She threatened, doing everything himself as Scott tried to pretend he was somewhere else, somewhere happy. Did that even exist anymore? Shelby we gone.

As Alex came out of the bathroom, she decided to look around a little before Jay showed up to pick her up. This would throw him off the edge. Laughing her herself, she heard a load moan. Following the sound, she came upon a really large background with a Jacuzzi … with Elaine and Scott in it. Alex watched in horror as Scott stood almost motionless as Elaine forced herself onto him.

"What are you doing!" She banged on the glass door as Elaine backed away in fear, slapping Scott and pretending like he had initiated something. It was obvious that something was wrong.

"What are you still doing here? Stealing something. I'm calling the cops." Elaine rushed out of the Jacuzzi, amazingly unfazed by what Alex had just witnessed.

"Scott, are you okay?" She ran to her friend who looked like he wasn't even there. "Scott, answer me!" Alex screamed as he slowly stood out of the water and walked away without saying a word. "What's wrong with you?" Alex rushed in front of him, holding onto his shoulders. "Talk to me."

"Back off!" Scott yelled, throwing Alex aside as she fell backwards landing her on butt.

"That is the last time!" She choked out, her words getting caught partially in her throat and running out the house. She was just going to have to ignore whatever puppy love she was starting to feel.Already, Alex was becoming her mother.

**

* * *

**

"This is the only way I'll call them off." Kiowi promised. "You have to do it."

"I'm not having sex with some random guy on your team. I can't do it." Manny shook her head firmly.

"How is he any different from the others?" Her ex-boyfriend shot back.

"You're not mad about the others, just Craig. Say his name and move on. I met him before you." She rolled her eyes.

"If you aren't gonna do it, then leave." Kiowi opened the door as the freshman guy looked back at Manny sadly. How did someone as nice as him get caught up in stuff like this? "What are you waiting for?" Kiowi urged.

"I don't know." Manny sighed, closing the door behind her and removing her jacket. "No one will know about it?"

"It's just between us." Kiowi nodded hugging Manny and throwing a thumbs up to the young guy behind them. This was easy.

(A/N: I had no idea what to do so I wrote random stuff. What do you think Manny will do? I think they'll be 1-3 more chapters so tune in next week … if I don't have writers block and I won't be updating the first week of May! Review. –NL)


	14. Don't Want to Try No More

Don't Want to Try No More

"I'll do it." Manny repeated to herself, trying to get over the icky feeling she was getting from this whole situation. "Kiowi, I just don't understand why ... can't there be another way? Can't we start over?"

"Not after this." He held up the newspaper articles. You_ humiliated_ me in front of the entire nation. There's absolutely no way I can go back to you."

"So, our plans for marriage are over? What about the promises you made to me?" Manny stalled, anything to think of a way out of this.

"Are you gonna do it or not?" Kiowi sighed, crossing his arms firmly.

"In front of you?" Manny looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I set up a room for you two. You do this for my cousin and we're even." Kiowi promised again, unable to look Manny straight in the eye.

"Thanks dude." Michael, Kiowi's cousin, smiled following Manny into the room.

"Just keep her facing forward ... we want to see her, not you. And don't force yourself on her dude ... just convince her of things, like I did. Make her look like the no-good she is, all right?" Kiowi patted Michael on the back, sitting in the living room waiting. Good thing his parents were out for the day.

* * *

"And you used to call me a spoiled little rich kid?" Jay joked as he pulled up to Scott's mansion. "Why aren't you spending the night?" 

"Let's just say that this one's more messed up than the both of us combined." Alex tried not to focus on her sore butt from the tumble she had taken by the jacuzzi.

"How is that humanly possible?"

"How's Emma?" Alex turned the attention away from her.

"Why do you always do that? Why are you always hiding shit from me when I'm trying to show you I care? What's the worst I can do Alex? Tell everyone?" Jay rolled his eyes angrily.

"I have to put up this brick wall and you know it." She whispered back.

"But with me? I know you. I've known you since the day we met. You're like my other half, the better half." Jay patted her hand softly.

"There's so much you don't know about me ... and when I did let you in, you proved that I can't trust you Jay. We never had this conversation, but you ruined this. You're the cause of this and it's just like no matter how much I try, I'm becoming my mom. No guy treats me like I'm worth something. I'm getting tossed around like she was and I've got the scars to show it. Just don't bull shit me anymore. I'm living with you. I don't have to love you." Alex sighed, looking out at the window and trying to think of a way to get out of this. There was no way that she was going to be able to stay with Jay another moment. She needed her own independence.

"And you know everything about me Alex? I'm not as one-dimensional as you think."

"Let's just get back to the house okay?"

"You do matter."

"What?"

"You said you didn't matter to any man, but you do. I owe my life to you Alex." Jay smiled, reminscing back on the days when his parents lived in the slums, when his mom was nothing ... until she hit it big and married rich.

"Don't say shit like that if you don't mean it." Alex's voice cracked as she gave in, finally telling Jay the whole story. "I needed you to come tonight because ... it's really stupid actually. Nothing happened." She whispered. "But when he pushed me, and did it more than once I got scared. I didn't want it to turn into hitting. I get that enough at home you know."

"My home is your home. I promsise I won't hit you, I'll just do it mentally ... you do push my buttons sometimes." He laughed, getting Alex to smile too. "And come tomorrow, I'll give that asshole what he deserves."

"You can't. One more incident and you're done, you know that and ... I've decided I'm going to go to college and not one of those bull shit universities, a _real _college ... in the states." Alex smiled, holding out a brochure she had gotten from the many 'college fairs' Degrassi had. She picked up the packet so quickly, that no one could even pinpoint that she'd been there.

"Madonna University? You can't be serious. Alex this is a private school." He protested. "And you'll be all the way in Michigan."

"_We'll _be there."

* * *

"Not to get all 'boyfriendy' on you or anything, but where the hell were you last night girl? There was a banging party last night. You will be at the field today, won't you?" Gianni wondered as Manny walked stiffly into the Degrassi school. 

"Sure." Manny shrugged, trying to pretend like last night didn't happen. She tried to tear her mind away from it ... how awkward it was, how she was faking it so much and now she was questioning whether or not she should have done it in the first place.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Don't you think it's a little weird that no one has called me a slut yet?" She snatched her books from her locker.

"I guess, but there's probably a bigger rumor going around." Gianni wrapped his arm around Manny's shoulder. "I'm glad I don't have to kick anyone's butt today." Manny smiled, resting her head on Gianni's shoulder. Kiowi kept his promise.

"And now a special news update." The afternoon annoucements began.

"That's a little early, don't you think?" Manny wondered as Gianni shrugged, not really noticing.

"We recently did a segment on what Degrassi students like to do in their freetime." Liberty's voice stopped as a really bad voice over came on ... it didn't even match her words. "And normally we start countdowns from number 10, but this Degrassi student deserves the entire segment." A photo of Manny popped up as her heart dropped. "And here is the number one pick." Liberty's voice returned as Manny's heart dropped. The scene was of her ... but not cheering or anything like that.

"Where was that?" Gianni asked as the video kept running. Michael was laying on the bed and Manny followed. As he kissed her, clothes starting coming off and Manny turned away.

"No way." She muttered to herself. "There's no way..." She repeated watching a little longer as her naked body appeared on screen. With tears flooding from her eyes, Manny ran away.

"Wait!" Gianni followed as Manny rushed out of the front of the building. "What was that? Did you see how they digitially made that you?"

"They didn't." Manny cried, pacing. "That was me."

"How did they get the footage?"

"Kiowi and I made a deal--"

"With that snake? Manny, I told you it would die down if you let it. Now they have a porno of you and some loser grade nine guy.

"I know it was stupid, but I was desperate and he **promised **me that everything would be all right. What am I going to do now?"

"Stop crying." Gianni whispered.

"I can't."

"Hold your head up high. There's an assembly in their today, right? You're speaking at it?"

"I was." Manny blew some hair out of her face.

"You are, so speak. You'll know what to say." Gianni hugged her tightly as the last few tears in her eyes fled, rushing down her olive skin. "You'll be my body guard? You'll love me no matter what?" She uttered sadly.

"Always. You bleed, I bleed."

* * *

Rather than saying 'that's for hitting Alex' like all those corny people did on TV, Jay just kept punching and punching Scott. He would get the picture. It didn't matter than he promised Alex that he would finish this year and go to college with her ... this guy had to pay. 

"Stop. Stop." Scott grasped desperately gaining enough strength to stand and swing at Jay, but he missed.

"What are you doing!" Alex yelled, holding Jay's arms behind him tightly.

"I can still get in a few good kicks." Jay answered.

"No.I told you, you can't afford to get in trouble like this. Just go Jay. I'll take care of it. Just go." Alex repeated knowing that either outcome was bad. She would lose her position on student Vice-President now. "I'll help you get cleaned up." Alex offered.

"No. He's gonna pay for this."

"If you had never pushed me yesterday, this wouldn't have happened. You're to blame." Alex shot back folding her arms.

"If you had left like you were supposed to, you wouldn't have seen ... anything. Things are worse for me now. Thanks."

"You are just so amazingly blind and stupid. That doesn't give you the right to put your hands on me. Ever." Alex pushed him against the lockers as Mr. Simpson rushed up to them.

"Are you okay son?"

"I'm fine." Scott groaned giving Alex an evil stare.

"Who did this to you?"

"I did." Alex answered quickly before Scott could ruin Jay's future ... and hers.

(A/N: I know this was kind of boring. Oh well. My head is killing me right now and I can't think anymore so that's why I'm not writing more. If you want to hear about certain people, send a review with that person's name and/or what you want to see happen. I think one more chapter and I'll be done with this. --NL)


	15. You Keep Insisting

You Keep Insisting When You Know Our Love is Out the Door

"I did it Mr. Simpson." Alex repeated again daring Scott to protest. She knew what she was doing, what she had to do.

"Alex, you did this?" He wondered, helping Scott up. "Why … you know I don't think you could've done this alone."

"Take me to the principal's office. I know the procedure." Mr. Simpson dropped Scott off at the nurse's office, later sending him a referral to go home. "This isn't like you." He commented as Alex shrugged, holding back tears. If she could keep it together and not blurt out the truth, she was stronger than she ever thought.

* * *

'You bleed, I bleed,' is what Gianni had said to Manny and his words were echoing in her mind, but the size of the crowd was massive. _Everyone _was supposed to be there and everyone was. .. except a few stragglers who never made it to any pep rally/school spirit events.

Normally, Manny would trade in her nervous energy for excitement taken directly from the crowd—adrenaline. Now, she felt as flat as a deflated balloon, filled with nothing and amazing to no one.

Soon, the boos and name-calling would start. The teachers would try to pin-point the ring leader and stop it, but they'd never be able to. It was everyone. Everyone hated her right now and all for … being stupid.

"I can't--"

"Manny?" She stopped moving as she came face to face with Michael.

"Don't talk to me. You _knew _what that monster was planning. You're garbage, dirt to me."

"Don't act like you didn't like it. I know you did." He smiled, looking her up and down as Manny shivered. She knew what he was thinking. He surveyed her body like a piece up meat up for grabs.

"You're disgusting."

"You're the one who's easy. You're to blame. Girls who dress like you deserve it."

"Girls who dress like me? And how do I dress Michael."

"When you wear stuff like that…" He pointed to the black and white halter mini dress she was wearing. "It's just proving that you want it too. I can tell, you want it know don't you?" He moved closer as Manny pushed him down, hearing a gasp behind her. Someone had opened the stage curtains, but she was too preoccupied to notice.

"Gianni?" She looked to the wings of the curtain to see her _only _friend on her side. He nodded, urging her to move to the platform.

"Booo! Slut!" One of Kiowi's friends yelled first as Manny kept walking. She had to do this, for herself.

* * *

"Where were you Alex? I had this hella hard physics test and you weren't there for me to cheat off of." Jay walked into the house to see Alex gorging on tons of junk food in the living room.

"Fuck off." Alex sighed, sinking further into the couch.

"What the hell is your problem? Ms. H didn't come after me today. Sunshine must've gotten some smarts."

"I took the rap." Alex blurted out avoiding looking at Jay. She was just so disgusted with what he did, but even worse is that she almost admired it.

"Why? I know they cracked down on your ass."

"Suspension." Alex shrugged. "I wasn't planning on finishing school anyway. Like mother, like daughter huh?"

"Stop being Miss Drama. Suspension is nothing. You've had it before." Jay explained.

"Yeah, but for assaulting a dude? Come on. What are places gonna say when they hear that?"

"They'll know you're hard core." He joked, nudging Alex softly.

"This isn't a joke. I'm gonna end up like my pathetic mother and you'll be taking over your father's business, making millions for being the jackass you were born to be."

"Chill out. I'll tell H it was me. What's the biggie? So, I'll get kicked out of school. I already have the connections I need. You know who my parents are." Jay shrugged it off, hugging Alex spontaneously. "And I'll take care of you so you won't have to worry about living in some trailer the rest of your life."

"You're not going to Ms. H. I'll deal with it. I've got it under control." Alex promised looking up at Jay and still holding on to him. "I'm saving you this time."

"You know how you could really help?" Jay leaned in as if to kiss Alex, who followed his lead. Their lips hadn't even gotten a chance to meet before Jay was laughing hysterically. "I knew you still wanted me."

"Asshole!" Alex yelled, punching him a couple of times and pretending to be mad, but still smiling. Sometimes things seemed to right between them, but they were mostly wrong. Jay was like that last high to a drug addict, the one that could kill, but he would always be there, tempting Alex. "You know I was just gonna use you. I don't think of you like that."

"I think you of everyday." Jay tried to keep a straight face, but ending up laughing. "I'm wondering when you're gonna get off your ass and wash your funky laundry."

"Shut up Jay. You're so stupid. I'm dealing with something serious because _you _messed up. Why'd you have to beat him like that."

"Because no one can mess with my Lexi and get away with it." He hugged her again, trying to making it completely platonic, but Jay just had to touch her… everyday, every second. There were just some people you never got over, real lunatics like Lexi always made their impression. Taking a risk, Jay tried to kiss her, for real this time.

"Yeah, you're the only one who can cheat on me, humiliate me, and hurt me in front of the entire school right?" Alex scooted away and picked up her messenger bag. I'll be back. I have some things to take care of.

* * *

"I was supposed to give a pep speech for Degrassi, but I--" Manny began, but was immediately halted by the shouts being thrown at her.

"Skank!"

"I don't think you're gonna listen to anything I have to say … not about that. So I'm here to talk about a _real _issue plaguing Degrassi's hallways. I know recent tabloids have--" Manny gasped as someone started throwing food at her.

"Hey. Do that again and I'll kick your ass. Listen to her!" Gianni stepped onto stage, standing directly beside Manny, taking her hand. "It's okay. You're doing fine."

"The tabloids have shown me kissing another guy while I was with Kiowi and you know what it's true. I was with Craig."

"Boo."

"I don't know who gave you guys the right to judge me. Are you perfect? How many of you guys have never cheated with something in life … no one. How many girls have been cheated on by guys … then why haven't you persecuted them like you're doing with me. Why are you tearing me apart?"

"Nobody cares. Get her off the stage!" Kiowi yelled with pure hatred in his eyes.

"I don't know if you heard what Michael said back that but because I feel like wearing a skirt, a halter, tube, whatever … just because I feel like showing a little skin doesn't mean that I'm a slut. It doesn't mean that you can just treat me like I don't matter."

"They treat you like a slut because you act like one!" One of the girls in the audience yelled as cheers followed.

"Having sex with someone is not 'acting' like a slut. This little video that you guys saw this morning was a set-up. Kiowi and I made a deal that if I-" Her voice broke off Manny fought back tears.

"Don't let them see you cry." Gianni hugged her again.

"If I did a favor for him, he'd forgive me and everyone else would stop hating me. I _wanted _you guys to like me, so I did it. I slept with Michael. And Kiowi betrayed by recording it and sending it to everyone. You tried to ruin my life, but I won't let you." She stared at Kiowi the entire time, watching his face go from triumphed to confusion and finally worry.

"See, I don't care anymore if you guys like me or not because you're all hypocrites, liars, and so into feeding into the double standard bull shit that I can't take it anymore. So, you can stop calling me it because I'll say it. Slut, bitch, whore … whatever you want to call me, but at least I'm real. At least I'm not a hateful bastard like you Kiowi." Manny paused. "Thank you." She smiled.

Her tears were completely gone. There was nothing to cry about. Let them think what they wanted, but she had to live her own life and she had to see if she could salvage things with Dani and the group.

* * *

"Is Scott here?" Alex asked as she was met face to face with Elaine. She could feel the tension … this woman thought Alex was competition for her.

"You're the little gold-digger that was over here last night. I know you stole something form the house. You're lucky I haven't reported it yet." Elaine lied, knowing exactly what to do to get rid of Alex once and for all.

"I just came to see how Scott was doing. He was in a fight--"

"Get in here. You'll have to wait on the couch. I'll go get him." She responded as Scott appeared in the room minutes later.

"I don't want to see you. Go away."

"You're a real brat, do you know that? I'm suspended thanks to you." Alex stated.

"You took the blame. Your choice, not mine." Scott shrugged it off, looking at Elaine who was fully engrossed in the conversation, especially once she sensed tension.

"Can you be a human being for a minute? Jay is my friend and I couldn't let him loose the rest of his senior year because of you. We have less than half a year left. Can't you just talk to Ms. H and clear this whole thing up."

"Why?"

"Because you owe me. There are so many things I could go and tell people, but I haven't … because I respected you enough not to hurt you, but that respect is running out. I don't care how you do it, but just fix it Scott." Alex turned to the door, walking out to the cab that was waiting for her.

"Where does that leave us?"

"As cordial. Real friends don't hit other friends." Alex finished, still looking and walking towards the cab.

"But they do forgive … I don't want to be just your friend. I'm into you Alex and with Jay in the picture we can't ever move on and see if something's there." Scott rushed to her side.

"We just met dude. What's your issue?"

"You. I want to … kiss you."

"Too bad." Alex hopped into the car, shutting it tightly behind her. No way. She needed to get away from this blonde-haired devil … and go home to one who was just as bad.

(REVIEW! THANKS. J -NL)


	16. It’s Been a Rough Road Baby Just Let it

It's Been a Rough Road Baby Just Let it Go

"Well, you know that we have a no tolerance program against violence here at Degrassi." Principal H explained as Alex nodded, understandingly. "And I've already given you suspension … starting tomorrow, but I just wanted to talk to you. You understand the gravity of this situation?"

"I do." Alex whispered sadly. There went her chances to breaking the cycle and actually doing something with her life.

"Of course you do. You are our school's vice president. Well, I guess I should say that you _were _Vice President." Principal H corrected herself.

"Ms. H, if there's any way to remedy this situation like anger management or talking with Ms. Sauvé, talking to _Scott_. Please." Alex begged, something that was completely out of her nature. "Do not let this be the end for me. I'll barely get into University as it is with my earlier marks."

"I'm sorry Alex, but my hands are tied." She answered slowly. "But, I have to admit that this whole ordeal seems a little … out of character for you."

"It is but, everyone makes mistakes, right?" Alex covered, still protecting Jay for reasons unknown to herself.

"Alex, if you know anything else about this situation, you could save yourself. We'd be willing to work with you." She responded, skeptical of Alex's actual involvement in the altercation.

"I told you everything. It was just me and Scott. I hit him. I had no right to and I apologize." Alex stated, looking Principal H in the eye with such conviction that she herself almost believed the lies.

"If you're … fine." Principal H sighed, giving in. "When you're ready to talk, I am here. It's never too late. Go and enjoy your last day at Degrassi for a while."

* * *

"You've conquered Degrassi. Who next?" Giannni asked Manny jokingly. She was all smiles. Of course, some of the kids at Degrassi just didn't get her speech. Some continued to call her "slut" as she walked through the hallway, but the number was dwindling.

And the difference was that now, she didn't care. For once Manuela Santos didn't give a damn. "I think now … I need a break." Manny answered with a smile.

"How about a party instead?"

"You're having one?"

"Wrong. Jay Hogart is."

"Degrassi's resident scumbag? Are you serious?" Manny asked while shaking her head. "No thanks. I'm trying to stay out of trouble. I'm surprised that you're going."

"Why?"

"Gianni, aren't you still trying to get Ellie to give you a chance? Why would you go to that … orgy party?" Manny wondered.

"Maybe because I know she'll be there."

"In what universe?"

"This one." Gianni shrugged. "It's good luck for me."

"Well, you can count me out. Jay equals no, Jay plus a stuck-up hypocritical princess Emma equals hell no."

* * *

"Do you think I should go find her and talk to her?" Craig asked Aaron after another practice for the tour. Suddenly this whole 'rock star' thing wasn't so glamorous. He and Aaron were sitting in a strip club, but only one girl was on Craig's mind.

"And miss all this?" He responded, eyeing one of the new back-up dancers.

"We lip sync half the time and my dancing sucks." Craig sighed.

"Oh, so you noticed." Aaron laughed.

"Dude, this is serious. Why would she do something like that? A sex tape … and Ashley writing to tell me about it … it's bizarre."

"What's bizarre is how much you care about your little high school life. This is the real world. _This _is what life is all about." Aaron answered, annoyed with Craig's venting, turning his attention back to the VIP stripper they had in front of them.

"You have no idea what it was like at Degrassi. My friends, my family, my whole _life _is there." Craig crossed his arms, looking down. "At least I got to do real music."

"We do make _real music_. But we're in the business of selling albums Manning and making MONEY, not being some punk garage bank. You think I like being apart of a group that's reviving 'boy bands?' No. I don't, but that's just the way it is. Count your blessings man."

"Yeah, you're right." Craig answered quietly, but his mind wasn't on his music for once, it was on the things he had taken for granted … until now.

* * *

"Did you hear about Jay's party tonight?" Gianni asked Ellie as soon as he caught up with her. This week was already making Degrassi history—a sex tape, wild assembly speech, and this party was going to be amazing.

"Excuse me; did I say that we were on speaking terms?" Ellie wondered as Ashley chuckled.

"I just want to know if you're going."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, well … if you are …maybe." Gianni shrugged, straining to remain cool.

"Yeah, well … I've recently adopted a policy… a no losers policy and when I know that one is going to be lurking around, well naturally I avoid him. Understand?" Ellie spat out with a sigh. These random conversations with Gianni were getting old.

"Is there not one part of you that thinks that what we had was special, or at least could have been?"

"That was in the past Gianni. I don't live in the past." Ellie shook her head angrily. "And please, in the future, refrain from speaking to me. Save yourself the embarrassment."

* * *

"Why are you throwing this asinine party Jay? I think I need some time to figure out how I'm going to get out of this mess." Alex sighed sadly. She was hating that she was so dependent upon Jay. He and Amy used to be her entire life and since moving in … she had lost contact with everyone.

"It's for you. I promise." Jay smiled flirtatiously although Emma was in the room with them.

"Well, I love parties."

"Looks like it's two votes verses one. You lose." Jay pulled Emma in for a quick kiss as she grinned as though she had won something. Yuck. This already sucked.

"While you two suck face and make out, I'm gonna leave. I'll find somewhere else to go tonight." Alex whispered while rolling her eyes. She walked of the house, making sure to slam the door behind her.

On the sly, she had picked up Jay's keys in hopes of going for a very long drive. On the way out, she ran into a much-unexpected visitor.

"What earthquake brought you here?" Alex yelled from a distance as she walked to her car, trying to tear her eyes away from him, but unable to.

"I came to apologize."

"Too little to late del Rossi. Get outta here!" She shouted, hopping into the car.

"Look, Ellie and I are over--"

"I know. I witnessed your whole pathetic attempt to make up with her. Tell me was it half as painful as it looked?" Alex smirked. Finally, karma was kicking in on her side.

"I know what I did to you was … wrong …"

"Okay Gianni. Let's examine the situation, shall we? You treated me like I was less than trash, like I wasn't worth more than being some physical trophy to you? And now you come here, _weeks _later might I add, and try to suck me in with your sucky little apology? Don't insult me." Alex rolled her eyes even though the prospect of 'forgiving' Gianni has crossed her mind.

It wasn't even about having a _real _connection with someone anymore. Jay already fulfilled that quota. She just wanted someone to fulfill the physical and someone else to walk down the hallway with … and whoever these two guys were, she just didn't want them to put their hands on her. That was her new rule.

At one time, Alex had all of these things, but never together. Was Alex asking for too much? She wasn't even asking for one person to possess all of these traits.

Was it too much for her to ask _not _to end up like her mother? Why did it always go back to her? Jisela Nunez teenage mother, waitress, ex-exotic dancer, and a magnet for abusive, possessive men.

Suddenly, a wave of sadness and longing came over Alex. She wanted to see her mom so badly, just to talk to her. How could she let that last conversation be there last? And Alex was worried about her.

No calls, no e-mails. What was she up to? As Gianni's figure came back into view, Alex began to focus on the reality of what was in front of her, instead of her thoughts. Gianni was the better alternative at this time.

"Look, I'll be honest … I just want to get laid." Gianni stated slowly.

"And you came to me?" Alex laughed, partly because he was so honest and partly because worried thoughts about her mom were fading. "Maybe you should talk to Manny about that." Alex snarled, jealously.

"Manny's hella cool but... we've never d--"

"And I don't care. I appreciate your honesty with everything but the only way I would _touch _you again is if I was so trashed that I could barely walk, and since the whole alcoholics anonymous thing is not my scene, it's not gonna happen." Alex cranked up the car. "Now move before I run over your sorry ass."

* * *

"I'm glad you're here with me. I know how much you didn't want to be here tonight and I really appreciate it." Manny hugged Gianni tightly as he struggled to pretend that everything was okay. It was game time. The party night.

Ellie was a lost cause. He knew that. She wouldn't let them in. Alex was …, well he thought she was nothing but maybe he was wrong. The way she rejected him today actually … hurt.

Gianni always thought that girls loved honesty, but he was guessing that 'honesty _wasn't always _the best policy.' This party was exactly what he needed. To drink, dance, have fun, go wild, and have a no strings attached hook-up with some random party girl after the same reckless night that he was.

"I've never seen you so pensive. What's going on?" Manny pried.

"That's too heavy of a question to answer at this party." Gianni answered, walking off and heading for the beer. Of course.

Manny hadn't been to one of these kinds of parties in a while. It was kind of refreshing after her victory against the whole sexiest society. Manuela Santos had asserted herself as a woman, free to choose whom she wanted and what she did with that person.

And for once the words wouldn't bring her down. She didn't care. She was free. She was—"Oops." Manny felt a cold, wet drink drip all over her brand new burgundy halter dress. She was ready to give this girl a piece of her mind, until she realized who it was. "Emma?"

"Manny, I—I'm so so sorry."

"Yeah, well sorry isn't going to fix this $300 dress." Manny sighed. "I knew this was a mistake."

"No. Wait. Jay's sister Anna has some clothes upstairs and I have a few things here too. You're welcome to it." Emma offered.

"No, that's okay. I'll just go home and change." Manny declined.

"I will not let you miss the party of the season. Come on. I'll go with you." Emma persisted. "And … I have some words to say to you that begin with 'I'm' and 'sorry.'"

* * *

"I knew you'd be here Lexi!" Jay yelled excitedly as Alex walked into the house.

"I've never run away from a battle before. I'm not gonna start." She answered back. "And, I have no place to stay. Mom's not answering."

"No sobbing. This is a party."

"Can you give me five minutes Jay? Just five?"

"Sure." She took her hand in his, heading towards Anna's old room. "What is it trailer park?" He asked jokingly.

"You are so immature." She rolled her eyes, holding back a laugh. Alex took in a deep breathe. "Should I talk to you about my mom or my latest boy drama?"

"What boy?" Jay wondered, his playful demeanor changing.

"You seem really interested in that one. Maybe a little too into it?" Alex questioned him, searching Jay's eyes for something he kept hidden … his real feelings.

"Scott came back for another round?" Jay placed his hand on Alex's shoulder lightly.

"Worse. Gianni. He tried to apologize at first, but when he saw that I wasn't having it, he got real with it."

"Lexi, don't even think about him. He probably just wants to get laid."

"Funny. That's exactly what he told me." Alex sat on the floor and soon after, she found herself laying on the floor.

"And?" Jay sat down beside her.

"I'm actually considering it."

"What?!" Jay yelled a little too loudly, as Alex jumped up, startled.

"Geez Jason, you almost scared the shit out of me." Alex held back a smile. "A girl has needs, as Manny Santos proved, and he is the lesser of two evils."

"He's a douchbag."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big girl with big girl needs. I never tell you not to sleep with Emma."

"That's different." Jay sighed. "But you're right. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't care … but you know what Lexi, I'm sick and tired of your shit! The games you play. If you still have feelings for me, then you should just …" Jay paused, his face getting closer and closer to mine.

"Say it?" I moved in as if I was going to kiss him, but then pushed him away. "You taught me that move not too long ago, remember?"

"Yeah …but you're not _really _going to do anything with him, are you?"

* * *

"So tell me, why are you still with Jay?"

"Manny, why not?" Emma answered back.

"That's avoiding the question."

"Now, that's perfect," Emma said, referring to the slinky red top Manny was wearing from Anna's closet.

"I don't know. It's kind of … boring." Manny rushed back to the closet. "So … Jay?"

"Oh. Him." Emma sighed. "I don't know. I guess because I don't want to be alone."

"That's a bad excuse."

"No Manny, you know how it is. It's not okay for a girl to be alone, to be unattached to some guy. Especially since we're older now, I'm really starting to realize it. Do I really want to be the girl who never gets proposed to or isn't married by the time she's 30? No."

"So you lower your standards until you have none. Great idea Em." Manny shook her head disapprovingly. "You know I used to think you had all the answers."

"I did, but then I found out that the world isn't the way I envision it to be. There are certain standards which--"

"Need to be broken." Manny finished for her. "If you don't love someone or have feelings for them then you shouldn't be with them point blank." Manny picked up a plain spaghetti strapped tank and decided to pair it with a cute skirt.

"I guess you're going to tell me that I shouldn't barf up a few dinners so I can fit into a pair of pants."

"Em, why didn't you tell me?"

"Manny, you were off in L.A. pursuing your dance dreams. I couldn't just call you and end it." Emma explained. "I know it's horrible to say this, but I'm glad your back. I finally got back my best friend."

"I don't want you to ever think that anything can come between us." Manny explained. "I love you like a sister Em. You're like my blood. I don't want you puking up your food or staying with Jay even though you don't love him."

"I know, but… I'm so scared Manny. It's scary going against the norm. It used to be second nature to me but now--"

"You care. I know. I just had the entire school watch me have sex Emma." Manny looked down sadly. "Definitely not my proudest moment."

"And definitely biggest Manniest mistake I can think of. You get yourself into these situations that … I'm getting myself into." Emma said softly. "I'm dumping Jay tomorrow." She whispered, not knowing if she would have the guts to do it now, but tomorrow … maybe.

"Promise?" Manny asked as Emma shook her head in response. "Good, now let's party chica!"

* * *

"Don't go getting over-eager." Alex demanded as Gianni kissed her passionately. The way he looked at her it was like this wasn't just some random hook-up. There was something behind those blue eyes, his tanned skin, that made Alex want to see this through.

"I'm sorry for what I said about you … earlier."

"I know." Alex nodded, as Gianni lead the way into Jay's room. Alex barely noticed. "But don't do it again."

"I won't." He kissed her neck lustfully as Alex indulged in the feeling of his lips on hers. Kissing. She hadn't been kissed like this in a while. It felt … nice, but it definitely wasn't the best kiss she had had.

'No.' Alex thought. 'Don't start thinking about Jay. Don't start. Don't start.'

"Let's get this over with." She whispered as things started to really heat up.

"I'll be down in just a sec!" Alex heard Jay's drunk voice.

"Quick. Hide." She whispered to Gianni, but it was too late. Jay saw Alex as he never saw her before, naked, on top of another guy.

"Lexi …" Jay muttered, his heart beating faster and faster.

"I wasn't bluffing," Alex said narrowly, trying to hide her shame. She wished that Jay were in Gianni's place so badly … even though she knew what kind of person he was.

"Damn it!" He yelled running towards the bed and pouncing on Gianni with full intentions of beating the snot out of him, until it made Jay feel better. Forget beating him … Jay wanted to _kill _him.

* * *

Manny and Emma were having the time of their lives, dancing harder than they'd ever danced not caring who saw what they did or what they said. "Go Manny!" Emma yelled as Manny took the spotlight showing everyone a few of her moves.

Her dance career with Craig was behind her, but this was the present and a beautiful future seemed possible. "Oh my God." Emma stopped dancing as Manny kept going for a while. But as she noticed the crowd's attention turning away from her and onto … Craig.

"What are you doing _here_?"

* * *

Alex struggled between covering up her naked body, which still contained evidence of her past bruises, and stopping Jay from killing Gianni. He would punch Gianni, Alex would jump on his back, he'd thrust her off and the entire thing would repeat.

"Don't Jay! You don't want to go to prison for this."

"I'll kill him. I swear it!" Jay yelled as Alex started to lounge towards him again. She didn't know why, but that sinking feeling she'd had all day was still with her.

This was the drama climax of the day. Could it get any worse? That question was answered when Alex picked up her phone. Who would be calling her at 3am? Everyone was at this party.

"May I speak to Alexandria Nunez?" A stern male voice penetrated Alex's ear.

"This is she."

"I'd like for you to come down to the police station Ms. Nunez. There's been a problem with your--"

"Police station. W-Why?"

"It's about your mother Jisela Nunez. She's been found … I mean her bod …" Alex dropped the phone. She knew what the rest of that word was. Body. They found her mom's body somewhere.

Alex hadn't even know that her mom was missing. "Oh God!" She moaned. "No! Not my mom!" She screamed, hysterically in tears. "God no." Suddenly, the fight between Gianni and Jay ceased, but Alex didn't even notice.

She also didn't notice that she was half-naked and walking towards the door. 'Police station.' She had to go there … and prove them wrong. Jisela Nunez was a fighter. She didn't just _die_.

* * *

A/N: I'm trying to end it soon. Very soon. Sorry about the yearlong delay! My goal is to finish it by September at the very latest. Review!! –NL 


	17. Tell Me what’s the Use of Holding On?

Tell Me what's the Use of Holding On?

"Alex, wait. Tell me what's going on." Jay tried to calm her down with Gianni watching in amazement. He had never seen anyone fall apart, not like this.

"I ... have ... to ... go. Let me go." Alex begged, diving for the door again.

"Not until you put on some clothes." Jay whispered, hugging Alex tightly and rocking back and forth with her. "Hand me the rest of the clothes will you?" He looked at Gianni, putting his plans to kill him on hold.

"I need to see her. Let me go before I hurt you." Alex threatened as the two guys managed to get her top and pants on, making her look semi-normal.

"Okay. Let's go." Jay hoisted Alex up, but seeing that she didn't have the energy to walk, he scooped her up gently.

Gianni made a path so that the two could walk through the party crowd. "Wait, I'm coming with you." Gianni called after Jay as soon as he had put Alex into the car.

"Like hell you are. You are a sick little shit, and delusional if you think I'll let you anywhere near her again."

"Jay, come on." Alex muttered. "Let's just go."

* * *

"Please tell me that she's okay." Alex exclaimed hysterically to the first officer she saw. "Tell me!"

"Lexi, he doesn't even know who you're talking about." Jay tried to calm her down in vain. "We're here on behalf of Jisela Nunez."

"Oh yes." The officer nodded, looking at a file.

"And?" Alex wondered anxiously.

"We found her body--"

"God! No! She's … gone?"

"Actually, she's at the hospital, but she was beaten up pretty bad." The officer continued.

"Then why'd you call me over here like that?" Alex took Jay's hand and jerked him towards the exit. "We have to go to the hospital. I have to see her."

"Lexi, we don't even know which--"

"Toronto Memorial!" The cop yelled after the duo with Alex nearly throwing Jay into the car and cranking it up herself.

"You drive too slowly." She rationed. "I have to see her."

* * *

"If you're looking for an apology, I'm fresh out of those." Manny began, bracing herself for the worse. She knew that the press had gotten their hands on her story, her Craig drama, and that tape with that sick little freshman dude was probably floating around too.

"I'm not. I owe you one for putting you in that situation."

"Come again?"

"The way I invaded your relationship and everything I did … it was all wrong." Craig explained.

"I take it that you read the paper..." Manny stated nervously deciding that being completely honest was the best thing.

"And, I saw the video." Craig nodded as Manny covered her mouth in shock.

"It leaked on the internet? God, my parents are going to be so mortified."

"Manny, that's not what I'm here to talk about ... I mean, not directly." Craig revealed.

"Then what are you here for?" She asked, worried.

"Maybe you two should go outside and talk!" Emma yelled over the music, intervening, as the crowd paved a way for the two, but their alone time was cut short.

"You're taking out the trash Craig. It's about time!" Ashley yelled and it was obvious that she was more than a little tipsy.

"Ashley, don't make a scene." Craig begged.

"Why? History is repeating itself and everyone should know that Manny is trying to steal you from me again." She rationalized. "But it won't work this time."

"We're talking Ash. What's your problem?"

"MY PROBLEM??? It's _you_." Ashley put her finger up against Manny's forehead, giving it a slight push. "You're a piece of shit and I want you out of my life."

"Ash, you're looking really stupid right now. Just calm down. I'll talk to you when you're sober." Manny offered, looking to Craig for help.

"No, I will not stop." Ashley spat back, her voice now drawing out and making it seem as if she had a speech problem. "You're a dumb slut."

"Don't say that to me." Manny ordered.

"Okay." Ashley smiled. "She's a dumb slut Craig." She chuckled as she watched Manny start to get angry. "You know it. The entire world knows it."

"And you're pathetic." Emma stepped in. "I used to have respect for you Ashley. We all did, but now … you're just sad. Craig cheated on you because he didn't want you. He still doesn't want you and tearing down Manny because you're _jealous _won't change that. So just quit before you make yourself look even more stupid."

Ashley opened her mouth as if to reply, but quickly closed it. She picked up the nearest cup of alcohol and chugged it down instead.

"Wow Em." Manny hugged her best friend triumphed. "See the old Emma Nelson is still there. You just can't be afraid of her." She whispered as Emma nodded.

"Manny, I'm really sorry about that. I didn't get a chance…" Craig's voice trailed off as Manny looked to Emma for approval.

"Go ahead. I have business to handle too." She responded, referring to Jay.

"I thought you said all that you could possibly say back there." Manny started playing with her hands.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Truthfully Craig … I'm over it. I guess I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life, with that tape and everything, but I don't ever want to be in the position where I let someone else get the upper hand and make me feel like I'm nothing."

"I promise not to do that."

"What do you want with me? Why did you come back?" She sighed looking up at him openly.

"I want to be with you, if you're not back with Kiowi."

"Whoa. You obviously haven't been around. Kiowi is so over." Manny laughed to herself. "And about me and you … It sounded good to be once upon a time, a very close time, but … you know we can't do that Craig. We've given it enough chances and you've continuously ruined things."

"Don't make me beg Manny because I will." Craig threatened. "I've never had so much bad history with someone and still wanted them in my life. I couldn't imagine--"

"Being friends? Me either and maybe that's the problem. You've never really respected me or thought of me as more than just a physical materialization of all your desires."

"Then if we're not friends and we're not together, then what are we?"

"I may regret this but …." Manny took his hands in hers. "Give me some time. I need to do things on my own before I even consider _us _again."

"Well at least go back on tour with me. Whatever you want to do—background dancing, a duet, whatever you want." Craig pledged, kissing her hands softly. "I'm **not **over you Manny. Don't forget that. I may never be." He finished, pressing his lips to her forehead lovingly.

As Manny watched him walk away disappointed. _That _was the hardest thing she had to do in a while. But she needed to find her own way first and fix herself. How could she be in a functional relationship if she was a mess herself?

And Craig had hurt her so much. Seeing him again, as in being with him, would be like a reopening the wounds that she could feel throbbing now. It _did _hurt. Manny couldn't lie. It was worst than she thought it could be and now she was outside on the grass, crying her eyes out and wondering if Gianni was just as ready to leave as she was.

* * *

Jimmy didn't want to wait until Valentine's Day. It wasn't possible. Instead, he had taken a half day off from school, ordered an online plane ticket, and traveled thousands of miles just to see her.

Now that he was at this all-girls prep school, Jimmy looked at the directions on the piece of paper that he got from some random person at the airport. Hazel was in 398C, and had been gone for over a month now.

That was a long time, especially for high school romances, however it wasn't long enough for Jimmy's feelings for her to change. He had a big surprise for Hazel. Well, actually two. That last kiss that she gave him was so filled with love and everything that they wouldn't get to say to each other because her parents had torn them away. What they didn't know was that Jimmy was getting the last laugh.

His mind started racing, thinking about what he would start off with first … showing her how much progress he had done with the walking thing or the ring? Jimmy only imagine it. She was probably miserable here and seeing him would reassure Hazel that he was still waiting for her.

Jimmy continued forward, hearing the Temptations' "My Girl" in his mind and was pleased when he noticed Hazel walking amongst the countless girls in the courtyard. He paused to watch her. She looked so surprisingly … happy. Surrounded by four other girls, Hazel looked like this was the place where she belonged, like Degrassi never happened, and like _he _never happened.

Opening the ring box, Jimmy thought about how much trouble he had gone through to get here and how much he really, truly loved her. Yet, he did not love Haze enough to do this to her, rain on her parade. If only she hadn't looked so damn happy.

* * *

"Mom." Alex gasped, opening the hospital room door violently. She rushed over to her mom's side, thrilled to see that she was at least breathing. "What have you gotten yourself into this time?" She shook her head, sighing while her eyes ran up and down her mom's frail-looking body. "That bastard."

"You think it was your dad?"

"If you can call him that …" Her mind started racing back to a few months ago when she had stolen some weed from her dad and brother. That's when she _started _it, but it hadn't been how she stopped it. She used recreationally and this was probably their way of thanking her. "I'm so sorry mom." She whispered.

"Lexi, if there's anything I can do." Jay began, genuinely sorry to see a Ms. Nunez who looked like she'd been hit by a truck. She was usually such a fun person to be around with and this was so bizarre.

"Yeah." Alex sighed. "Can you just … go? I think I need some time with her alone."

"How will you get back?"

"I'm spending the night here. She needs me." Alex stroked her mom's hair, as though her compassion and love for Jisela would magically change something. She clutched her mom's hand, reciting every and any prayer that she had remembered, which was difficult considering that Alex had erased a lot of her Catholic past from her mind.

"Things will be better I promise. I will find out who did this to you--"

" Alexandria." Alex turned her back to the voice, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"What are you doing here Carlo?" She faced her father.

"Oh. Tears. How very … _sweet _of you."

"Why'd you do it?"

"This was actually not my doing. Dante is learning fast." He grinned. "And you've been a bad girl. Stealing from your own blood."

"I was borrowing it, just having a little fun. Maybe if you acted like a normal father for a second, I wouldn't have to get high to block out the reality." Alex explained.

"Don't get dramatic on me. I want my money Alexandria. I don't care if you have to walk the streets like your no good whore of a mother. Two weeks." Carlo answered coldly. "Why don't you get out of here? Get!"

"No. I think I'll stay." Alex challenged her father, her eyes begging him to try and hit her. She then sat on Jisela's bed once Alex was sure that he would keep his hands to himself. "I wouldn't want her not to wake up tomorrow morning."

"I'd never kill my own wife." Alex shrugged. They were only married by law. The two had been separated since she became a teen and with the separation came the in and out boyfriends. Alex couldn't blame her mom for her infidelity. Carlo would never let her divorce her even though he had never been faithful to Jisela, hence Alex's stepbrother Dante. As long as she stayed there to keep her eye on Jisela, nothing bad would happen to her ever again.

* * *

"Yo, there's no crying in baseball!" Gianni yelled in an over-the-top New York accent to a crying Manny.

"I was just thinking about you." Manny sniffed, not caring how red her eyes looked. "You and me've got ESP."

"Yeah. Ready to get out of here?" He wondered as Manny's eyebrows rose once she got a full view of his battered face.

"Did a truck fall on your face?"

"More like some loser's fists." Gianni shrugged. "Got caught in a tight situation. I had to get out of here for a while to do some thinking, but came back to get you."

"How thoughtful." She rolled her eyes playfully, reaching for his hand to help her stand up. "These shoes are impossible. I've been trying to get up for at least an hour."

"Why are you crying?"

"You're crossing the 'best buddies' line." Manny shrugged. "Craig asked me to go with him and be with him."

"That's not what you wanted?" Gianni wondered.

"It is, desperately."

"But?"

"Not right now. I have to be able to trust him. I can't give it to him easily like I used to do. Otherwise he'll never appreciate what we'd have or me for that matter." She spewed. "So tell me the truth about this." Manny poked one of the bruises on his face. "Nice."

"Let's make it through the crowd first." Gianni answered, clasping Manny's hand as they pushed through the dancing drunks. Manny could feel Craig watching her, so she tried not to look in his direction.

"See you later Em." Manny called to her friend who was among those watching her leave. Drama never ceased to exist in her life. "Now spill. Please tell me something, _anything _to get my mind off Craig."

"Ellie doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

"Shocker." Manny laughed poking Gianni in the stomach. "So…"

"I met up with Alex. Things were getting good too, you know. She knows what she's doing." Gianni chuckled. "And she's a wide as--"

"Okay. Eww. I asked for details not a porno description." Manny shuttered.

"So anyway me and her are like totally getting it on and it's getting good. Then she tells me to hide. I'm thinking it's some new kinky shit or something because she knocks me to the ground and BAM in walks Jay."

"Awkward."

"He was mad as a motherfucker and starts pounding the shit out me. Alex is yelling like crazy running around naked and trying to stop the whole thing. Dude gets a few good blows on me and before I know it, Alex is screaming like crazy. She and Jay rush out of the place leaving me there."

"Wow. That's some story." Manny rested her head back onto the car seat.

"And?"

"You totally made it up Gi. Alex would never sleep with you and Jay … you could kick his ass easily."

"Manny, I may exaggerate about some things, but this is no lie."

"Come on … did you really like sleeping with Alex Nunez? Yuck!" She joked as he shook his head. "Can you say man in the flesh?"

"Jealous much?"

"You wish hussy." Manny kidded back. "I don't get intimate with poochy guys." She poked at his beer belly giggling playfully.

"This is perfection." He lifted up his shirt, revealing perfectly sculpted abs and sucking in the gut she had been joking about earlier. Such a typical insecure guy move. "Here. Feel it. Tell me this isn't flawless." He took her hand, placing it across his chest and abs.

"All right. You've got me on that one." Manny laughed. "I guess I'll have to Clorox my hand to get the scent of you and Nunez together off. That's so gross Gi." She whined still grinning. Gianni was hella fun, which was why they were inseparable.

* * *

Jay Hogart picked up the phone book. Hatzilakos, the only one of its kind listed in the book. It didn't matter that it was nearly 5am or that Alex would hate him for this. She just had to hear this.

"Maybe I speak with Ms. Hatzilakos?"

"Speaking?" A groggy female voice wondered.

"Jay Hogart."

"Mr. Hogart--"

"Alex is innocent. I beat up that kid because he hurt her. I should be the one suspended…" He began spilling the entire story, and with every true word he uttered, the idea of him graduating from Degrassi Community School disappeared.

It was fine. University was Alex's dream and he had to get her there at all costs. A spoiled wealthy brat like him would be just fine. Jay would just take that high school equivalent test he had been putting off for a while. Alex didn't know about it, but she didn't need to. This was the best present he could give to her—a future—something money couldn't buy.

* * *

(A/N: So maybe 2007 wasn't my year, I've still got stories to complete. R&R –NL)


	18. When All We Do is Hurt Our Love

When All We Do is Hurt Our Love

Jay looked down at the folder in his hands. It read _homework_. It was hard to believe that now that part of his life was over. And to be perfectly honest, Jay was happy about it. High school sucked and took up too much time, and besides, Alex needed this a lot more than he did.

"Are you going to come in or are you doing the creepy stalker thing?" Alex yelled from inside her mom's hospital room. She looked … alive today.

"I didn't see you at school today." Jay commented.

"Ha ha. Why would you? I'm expelled remember?" Alex rolled her eyes as she started to think about how everything was all getting out of control all at the same time.

"Yeah." Jay looked down, placing the folder on the desk near Jisela's bed. "How is she?"

"Still living." Alex scoffed. "I could kill my father for this."

"Then you'd really be no better than him." Jay responded scanning the room and coming upon some flowers with a card still attached. He picked it up quickly and briefly looked it over as Alex continued to be glued to her mother's side. "Has Gianni stopped by?"

"Jay, what did you really come here for?" Alex questioned him, letting go of her mom's hand. "Did you come here to bother me about some petty shit? I've got a lot going on right now and--"

"I know how guys work. He'll use this to get close to you, to get in your pants--"

"A power you no longer have over me." Alex cocking her head to the side. "Look, you're pissed about what you saw. I get it, but I'm not going to apologize for it." She answered silently adding, 'especially since you did the same thing with Emma.'

"I'm not asking you to. I just came here to say … Alex, I might have to go away for a while."

"What? Why? Mom's got a new hubby?"

"No. It's …personal." Jay decided. He had a lot of time to think about everything since … he went to Ms. H and told her the truth. The bottom line was that he was holding her back. Alex would never get to where she deserved because he'd always be there to get too involved.

"So you came here, to the hospital where my mom is holding on for _dear life _to tell me that you're leaving?" Alex shook her head in disgust. She had nobody. Literally not one person to count on and here and now her only … everything was walking out.

"Alex." Jay reached from her in an attempted embrace.

"Don't patronize me." She sniffed, holding back tears. "You go ahead and go. Do what you have to do."

"This isn't just all about me." Jay promised, embracing Alex tightly. "You know I love you Alex," He added with such conviction that it made Alex's stomach churned. She knew how real it felt, no _seemed_ and this time Alex wasn't buying it.

"Don't start with this._ Nothing _is going on with Gianni, so you don't have to get all melodramatic on me or go anywhere." She pushed him away, wrinkling her forehead as she spoke candidly. "He means nothing." She added quietly getting all emotional again.

"I have to leave. I do." He explained, kissing her forehead a little too long, reaching for the folder he brought in. "This … is for you."

"Homework?"

"I talked to Ms. H. You're in. I'm out." Jay walked away, leaving Alex stunned and speechless. Even her emotions felt numb. The only thing that she could feel was pure, utter, unscathed confusion.

"You're quiet." Gianni noticed as Manny just nodded. Last weekend was outrageous and now she was back in school, with Gianni by her side, and Craig was probably halfway around the world flying first-class with the dancers and Aaron …

"What if I made a mistake? Maybe I should've really given Craig a chance." Manny contemplated out loud. "I've been giving him such a hard time, calling him names, and then he comes back super polished looking all charmingly--"

"Charmingly?"

"Yes charmingly, and I didn't give him the chance to redeem himself."

"But last night you said--"

"I know what I said. I thought about it and analyzed it and that was the _right _thing, but I feel so bad about it today and I can't help but wondering--"

"Hold it before you get all Lifetime Movie on me and chase him down and catch him right before he boards the plane--" Gianni joked.

"Not even."

"I think you just need to get laid and you were thinking about what could have happened last night if you had just said yes. Was the sex good?" Gianni grinned.

"Look perv, I am not having this conversation with you. This isn't about good or bad sex or just wanting it. It's about love and having someone to fulfill all your needs."

"Doesn't exist." Gianni shot back.

"What would you know Mr. I-don't-commit? You juggle girls as an extra curricular activity."

"Alright Ms. 'All Wise' Santos. What is love?" He asked.

"When someone is willing to die for you and when someone else's life and feelings and everything matter more than yours. And the core of it is that someone truly _cares_ and it's unconditional and all that other shit that would take me forever to explain."

"That other shit?" He smirked, wrapping his arm around Manny, looking at her like he had just thought of something either really funny or really perverted.

"I know you're thinking about something so …Fine. Remedy me. Tell me something good. Tell me your plan." Manny begged. "Please."

"I'll do better than that." Gianni crossed his arms smugly. "I'll tell you two things. One, let's go on a date, a _double date _and two, I love you Sand Man."

"That's a double no thanks."

"I'll let you pick who I go out with." Gianni offered.

"Ooh, now that sounds fun." Manny grinned, suddenly paying more attention to the long line of female passersbys that had previously called her a whore.

"Hey. None of them." Gianni motioned towards a set of scruffy, mismatched girls that could be summed up with one word, pathetic.

"I'm not that evil but …" Manny's smile brightened. "I think you should use this time to redeem yourself." She paused. "I pick Alex."

"A dude?"

"No … Nunez. She's coming this way. Hey Alex!"

Alex could feel everyone staring at her and for once, she actually cared. It was like the time she had stumbled into Degrassi with a huge black eye and a bruised up back, back when she first met Jay.

Jay? She really had to get a grip and start focusing on more important things. High school was way out of her league, and Alex was feeling it now more than ever. That homework last night was killer and she found herself having to call Marco for help. She hung up before he even got out a 'hello', but Alex did call.

She just felt so dumb after everything that happened. Jisela. Her father. Her step-brother. School. Alex needed to just get a grip and find a way to handle it all. Just when she worked up the courage to put her tough skin back up, she heard someone calling after her.

What now? Turning around, with as much attitude as she could rally, Alex prepared herself for more drama.

"Hey Alex!" Manny Santos ran up to her, dragging behind her a reluctant Gianni who was studying the floor. Confidence that spilled over into arrogance was so his style, not insecurity. He probably felt guilty. More crap that Alex had to deal with.

"I don't want any."

"We're double dating and we want to know if you'll go with us." Manny wondered.

"So you've moved onto _love me long time Santos_? Classy." Alex shrugged.

"I'm not dating him, but you are." She explained without seeming offended in the least. "Just talk to him." Manny let go of Gianni's hand, giving him a weak wave before leaving the pair beside each other.

"You told her?"

"Manny's my best friend."

"What did you say exactly? Did you give her a play by play on what we did? How I _was_? How Jay came in and the phone call…" Alex started breathing heavily. This was starting to stress her out.

"How's your mom?"

"I hate when people feel sorry for me."

"I don't pity you. I just want to know, genuinely."

"She's fine … well, all right." Alex sighed. "But that stays between us. So, how many people did you tell about the mom thing?"

"None. Not even Manny." Gianni let out a deep breath. "I know that what I did to you was wrong. I had Ellie on the side and just used you over and over and ov--"

"I used to you too." Alex shrugged it off. "I do it all the time. You're nothing special." Alex looked down as she said those words. Granted, Gianni deserved to be hurt, but she just wasn't as vindictive as most people thought. Alex actually did have a heart, and right now, she was in no mood to see anyone else's bleeding as much as hers.

"Okay … so where's your partner in crime and why are you … here?"

"Afraid that he might dent your pretty little face again?"

"Lucky shot."

"I've got to get going." Alex said with more than just a mere shred of niceness.

"What about what Manny said?"

"About us dating? Get real." Alex scoffed. "We were both in it for the physical because we are nothing alike."

"I guess that spot's reserved for Jay."

"Who said I'm into him or any guy for that matter? Maybe I'm just taking a break."

"Whatever." Gianni mumbled, disappointed.

"I normally don't do this … explaining thing, but now's a bad time and if I was going to date, I don't think it'd be you."

"Yeah. It's cool." Gianni curved past Alex quickly, speeding up until he was far enough away before going back to his smooth demeanor. Alex shrugged. Now that that was over, she just had to find Marco and compare homework notes.

Marco was looking at Alex, who really wasn't saying much of anything. She was gone for what seemed like forever and now she was back without an explanation, asking him for homework help of all things. This was bizarre. He looked over at Ellie who was obviously annoyed by the fact that she and Alex were breathing in the same hemisphere.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. This silence is killing me." Marco admitted once Alex had finished looking at the paper. "What is going on with you Alex? You're back. You don't call for weeks. I hear that you've been hanging out with Jay again--"

"And Gianni." Ellie added.

"Yeah." Marco rolled his eyes. "Anyway, are you okay? Is Carlo being an ass again?"

"Whatever is going on, I wouldn't talk to you about it in front of her. And I'm just here to get a high school degree just like everyone else."

"If you won't talk about your home life, which I don't care about anyway, can you explain the party and what you were doing with two guys in a closed room with you when you were half naked?" Ellie gave her the third degree.

"Stalk much?"

"Everyone heard about it Alex. So do I have to tell you what everyone's saying about the threesome or are you going to spill--"

"Look bitch, you are two seconds from having--"

"Alex, Ellie, can we act civil?" Marco wondered looking at Alex intensely as his eyes told it all. He wanted to know too.

"What happened at the party was that I found out my mom was left for dead. Jay took me on a scavenger hunt to find her, walking in on me and Gianni. So you were wrong Ellie. I'm not this huge trashy screw-up like everyone thinks." Alex got up, leaving class. It hadn't started yet, but who cared? She didn't.

Dialing Jay's number immediately, Alex was left with the answering machine. She wouldn't dare leave a message. That smelled of desperate. Alex just needed to get a ride out of here and clear her mind.

"Skipping class?" She turned around to see that her "brother" Dante was here.

"Don't you know that criminals aren't allowed in here?" Alex walked over to him, furious.

"You've got a debt to pay and you're taking your slow time to do it." He took her by the arm, leading her into one of the rooms marked 'Janitor.'

"It's the middle of the school day. What do you expect?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"A little less attitude." He answered.

"Why are you here?"

"Jisela's condition got … a little worse."

"What? How could that have--"

"Alex, you know how. If things keep going in this direction, who knows how long until she's gone completely? Then dad would get this nice little life insurance package--"

"He _wouldn't_." Alex cried, her chin quivering and tears streaming from her face. "You bastard!" She screamed, slamming her fist as hard as she could against his face, which seemed to do nothing. Dante looked down, touched his chin and smiled.

"Blood." He laughed.

"I'll get the money to you soon." She promised.

"This week. First payment's due."

"How much?" Alex wondered, defeated suddenly feeling claustrophobic from the small space they were in.

"Five hundred."

"Five?"

"Make it seven." Dante took out a napkin and smoothly wiped the blood from his mouth.

"How am I supposed to get that money by Friday? In four days?" Alex wondered, her voice shaking.

"I have a friend who would love to see you do a little … dance for him." He stroked her arm repeatedly as Alex forced to keep strong and not gag.

"Get real asshole."

"Fine. I'll take a private show. You know I've always had a thing--"

"What time? What time?" Alex wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to look as fierce as possible.

"Wednesday night. I'll give you more details then." Dante smiled, pulling Alex closer to her as the space between their lips lessened.

"Don't." She turned away, as her cheek took the hit instead.

"One day you'll warm up to me and see that I'm not so bad." Dante predicted.

"You'd have to break me before that happened and I don't go down."

"I have a feeling that you will." He backed Alex into the wall, holding onto her chin so tightly that her entire body felt paralyzed. "Yummy." Dante lips pressed against hers innocently. "That wasn't so bad was it?" He repeated the action before pulling out a few bills from his back pocket, handing Alex a fifty. "It would've been more if you'd cooperated."

She couldn't even take the money. It just slipped from her fingers onto the floor and Alex didn't care at the moment. She just felt so violated.

Once he left the cleaning closet, Alex screamed as loud as she could in frustration, kicking and throwing everything that was in her sight. It probably wasn't the best idea because it got her sent to Suave's office for her "random outburst." She couldn't wait for this to end.

(A/N: I am ending this soon, but I was thinking about doing a follow-up one shot, possibly a song fic, about Alex. I'm guestimating that _Double Standard _will meet its end in one or two more chapters. I'm glad to finally update and apologize that my life is so messy that I don't have time or energy to escape into fanfic world as much as I would like. Please stick with me and review. –NL)


	19. Many Conversations on the Telephone

**Many Conversations on the Telephone**

* * *

"This isn't working." Craig complained.

"Give it a chance. We're still working out the kinks since … your little girlfriend left." Dani convinced him.

"Replace her." Craig demanded angrily. "She's ruining everything and taking too long to learn simple choreography!" He yelled with a deep conviction but the truth was the new girl wasn't holding them up. Craig was.

Manny not being here was more of a distraction than Manny being here.

"Craig, come on." Aaron pleaded, ready to get this rehearsal over with.

"No. This sucks." He muttered, dropping his microphone onto the ground. "I can't do this plastic Ken doll gig. I'm through playing the heartthrob." Craig hurried down the stage stairs with Dani yelling behind him.

"You're under contract … for ten years, we _own _you."

"I can't do this right now. I have to go back. I have to see her again." He explained. Craig rushed to the hotel to pack and find an emergency flight from L.A. back to Toronto, but before he could begin, Craig's phone started to ring.

* * *

"Where did you go? I had to cover for you." Marco tracked down Alex after school.

"I had business to take care of. Look Marco, I can't go to the student government meeting today."

"Why not?"

"Do not make me answer that question." Alex sighed.

"Is it really that bad?"

"Life or death. I need to come up with a couple hundred by the end of this week." She explained. "I hate asking this but … you wouldn't happen to have a wad of cash lying around, would you?"

"My money's tied up in my trust fund and savings bonds. I can try and see what I can get my hands on, but Alex, it would help if I knew the whole story."

"You can't handle it." Alex explicated running over her other options. As of now, the best one was Jay and if that plan failed, she would have to become a stripper like Lindsay Lohan in that really weird movie.

"That makes me even more curious. Will you tell me eventually?" He pried.

"If I make it out of this, sure del Rossi."

* * *

"Would you stop sulking about Craig already? It's been--"

"Too long. I'm not sulking, just practicing my sad face. Do you think it's too late to get into drama club?" Manny joked as he waited at her locker.

"Have you tried calling him?" Gianni questioned.

"I don't call guys, they call me." Manny answered smugly as I noticed two dudes staring at her.

"Have you noticed that ever since you did that huge speech, even more guys have been checking you out?"

"Those two are friends of Kiowi, just trying to intimidate me, but I don't give a damn." She tossed her hair over her shoulder, pulling her skirt up a little. "If they're going to talk, I might as well give them something to gossip about."

"Well … they'll have even more to say after we go out on our double date. I found someone for you and we made these really good surprise plans for this weekend."

"This weekend? Don't you know this is weekend is prom weekend. _The _prom. The biggest event of the year."

"Then why are you just now mentioning it?" Gianni wondered. "I thought chicks _lived _for this shit."

"Only ones who have their fairy tale endings with their prince. I don't like in Disney Princess land and any guy who would seriously go with me now is either a sleaze or a loser."

"DO you think so lowly of yourself?"

"No. I think lowly of Degrassi boys." Manny closed her locker, walking by a prom sign and tearing it down. "A Walk to Remember." She read. "Garbage, garbage, and more recycled garbage." She complained. "I guess all the girls have to come as cancer patients and the guys as total losers."

"Despite your complaining rant, I know you really want to go which is why I'm taking care of your date … and don't worry prom isn't the big surprise. I've got something bigger planned for you."

"Ooh. Exciting." Manny smiled, hooking her arm in Gianni's pleasantly. "Do I get a clue?"

"Nope."

"Okay, so I won't tell you who your girl is either. Just give me a color so you can match."

* * *

Tuesday night and Alex was racking her brain. Actually, she had snuck into her mom's hospital room with the plan to stay there tonight. Being near Dante again made her want to puke. And besides, she had to figure a way out of this.

Luckily, Marco hadn't busted her chops for skipping out on Student Government when the big _A Walk to Remember _prom knight was here, but she would have to go back and help them out eventually. And this Friday was the due date and the prom day.

Alex had been dialing Jay's number non-stop, despite having to swallow her pride, but her didn't pick up. All she had done was listened to close to two hundred rings and waste valuable money taking a cab over to his house only to find out that no one was there and it was completely empty.

She could always ask Emma where he was, but how would that look?

There just had to be another way to get 700, the money back… now she was wishing that she hadn't snuck all that weed to Gianni and Scott. To be honest, they were the ones who had contributed to this dilemma now. So, they should have to pay at least half.

Alex started to dial Gianni's number first and then decided not to. It was late, sure … nearly 2am and she didn't want to just show up at his house, but then again she didn't even know where Gianni lived.

But she knew where Scott lived … and Alex also knew that money wasn't a thing in his world. But she hadn't talked to him and he wouldn't … but she had to try.

* * *

"Okay … give me a hint." Manny begged. "Please, tell me who is it … someone new, someone old?" Manny asked, unable to focus on the open baseball field in front of him.

"He's old, real old … like fifty." Gianni muttered sarcastically as Manny's pitch barely went three feet. "Hey, can you concentrate."

"You're the only Canadian I know that's this serious about baseball!" She yelled from the center of the field.

"Damn right. I plan on getting out of here as soon as I can!" He yelled back hitting the pitch perfectly.

"Look … if this ball goes over the fence, that's it. I'm tired of running after these." Manny complained, making another successful pitch.

"You're getting better!"

"Thanks! Hey … Can we have a time out?" She ran closer to Gianni, tucking the mitt under her arm.

"I'm not telling who it is." He responded, taking a sip of his bottled water that was sitting in the batting mound.

"Well, I'm not telling you who yours is either."

"So." Gianni shrugged, throwing the rest of his water, at Manny.

"Hey! White t-shirt.'"

"Oh, I didn't even notice that. Didn't you always want to be in Playboy? I can help you get started with that." He joked.

"No way. I think Kiowi did that job better than anyone else." Manny pouted as Gianni gave her a side hug.

"He'll get his."

"Yeah …" She mumbled, hiding her own water bottle and then waiting for the perfect time for payback which resulted in 20 ounces of ice-cold water on the top of Gianni's head.

* * *

"So, what if I say no?" Scott asked feeling awkward in this school closet with Alex.

"Then everyone finds out about your mother and I tell Ms. H everything and that _you _started the fight by hitting _me _first. What do you think will happen then?" Alex began. "Make this deal and I will keep my mouth shut." She promised, her eyes piercing his.

"No going back on your word?"

"You do this and that's it."

"How much do you owe?" Scott wondered.

"This week seven hundred, in total … I don't know." Alex replied truthfully as Scott started to ponder this. It sounded like a huge plot or scam. He didn't know Alex that well, but the alternative was worse.

Dad knowing that he and Elaine were returning to their old ways… or a possible return to the Horizon camp for drug addicts and other delinquent kids.

"There's one more condition."

"Name it. Anything but kissing and sex in any form or nudity … I'll do anything but those things." Alex proclaimed her legs swinging back and forth on one of the shelves that she was sitting on.

"Prom."

"Dream on." Alex slid off the shelf and started to leave.

"I'm serious. Take it or leave it."

"Already left.'" Alex answered hastily. She knew what prom meant and she was utterly opposed to it … well, at least she was now. Prom night was when she was conceived, when her parents had 'done it' at their big formal.

What a disaster that had been. Alex would just have to swallow her pride and beg Dante for another chance to "dance."

* * *

"How do I look?" Manny asked Emma who was equally as dolled up.

"Like a Filipino Princess. Manny this dress is so--"

"Over done. My mom went wacko on me and completely designed this uber-big wedding dress. That guy is going to take on look at me and back away—no, run away.

"So over-dramatic. Your dress is this super bold red and so much more stunning than the year before.'"

"It's a coral Cinderella dress."

"That makes you look better than any Disney Princess." Emma noted, grabbing Manny's hands and twirling her around. "How do I look?"

"Fab in yellow."

"Too bad Jay is going to miss it and leave me to go to prom with Toby. I guess it could be worse." She stated.

"Jay … you were supposed to break it off with him."

"Oops. I guess I was." Emma shrugged. "Maybe he beat me to it."

"Okay, now I totally feel selfish about everything." Manny began. "Why don't you and Toby do the limo thing--"

"Are you sure?"

"Totally. It makes since. Me and you, like it should be."

* * *

"I am so psyched to see who it is." Manny gave Gianni a hug gratefully. "Thanks for not getting me a loser." She smiled although the mystery guy had yet to be revealed.

"If we guess, will you tell us?" Emma asked as Gianni shook his head firmly.

"Why don't you all stop asking him? It's starting to get on my nerves." Toby interjected.

"Fine, but we're getting your date first." Manny promised as the limo stopped suddenly. The tinted windows prevented anyone from seeing who it was until the door opened and revealed Ellie Nash.

"Did hell just freeze over?" Gianni whispered to Manny who tried to hold in a smile.

"No. I'm just that good."

"Well, wait until you see _your _date."

* * *

Alex felt like she had never felt before, beautiful. She had gone back to Scott with the deal which he accepted and now here they were, at the steps of Degrassi, seconds from seeing everyone's reaction.

The guy had even offered to buy her a dress, which Alex agreed to only because the one she had was being saved for a very special person and occasion, Jay. Him ditching her didn't make any sense and even though Alex was more than caught up with her homework … she was actually doing _well _in school, she would have traded it all in to be bantering with Jay.

Scott reached for her arm, clumsily knocking her corsage as Alex pretended not to notice. Tonight, she was going to try and _not _talk to Scott and let the night pass by. She'd play it cool.

The plan was going accordingly until Alex saw Ellie Nash walk in with Gianni. It completely blew away her ideas on being calm. Now, the only thing she felt like doing was giving him a piece of her mind.

* * *

"Out of all the people in the world, I never thought I'd see you again." Manny commented, tears in her eyes.

"I know you don't want me to be here, but my mind was just racing and racing when I went back to the group. I realized how stupid it was."

"What?"

"Work. And all the pictures and videos--"

"You mean video. I knew it would leak." Manny looked down sadly. "I really wish that you hadn't watched it."

"I could tell you were uncomfortable and that you didn't want to do it, so why did you?"

"I felt like I owed Kiowi whatever he wanted so that he would forgive me for you." She shrugged. "But you see that was a mistake. I was ashamed for not being pure enough for him and for not wanting to be with him."

"And me?"

"Craig … you're this huge ball of confusion and past." Manny began. "I don't want it to be like it was. I want to fix myself first. I told you that."

"I'm a little broken myself." He admitted. "I never got over you Manny Santos. And when you got that abortion--"

"Craig, please."

"I have to … I felt like part of me died. It did. And I just wanted to be there with you and for you, but it was too hard." Craig exclaimed. "What I've had with Ashley and every girl after you just doesn't compare."

"Do girls like study up on how to say the right things and make promises that they can't keep? You're making this so hard." Manny sighed.

"Then give me a chance. We can start slow."

"How slow?"

"Super slow."

"Okay." Manny agreed. "Let's start by dancing at my prom and then we'll move up to friends and when I finally get it together, will you be there?"

"I will."

* * *

"Move on quick?" Alex accused Gianni angrily. If it was anyone but Ellie, she wouldn't care but Alex hated Ellie deeply.

"It's prom. Manny set me up."

"Sure did." Ellie chimed in.

"Can we have a second?" Alex looked at both Scott and Ellie.

"No way." Ellie smirked. "This is way too much fun."

"How do I say this nicely?" Alex pondered, slapping her hands together and pressing them to her nose. "Either move or I'll kick your scrawny self-mutilating ass."

"Like to see you try pot head." Ellie challenged.

"Ellie, let me talk to her." Gianni jumped in, taking Alex's hand. "Want to dance?"

"Not in this lifetime." She muttered, but followed him anyway. "It's a real slap in the face to be here with Nash."

"Why are you acting like such a girl?"

"Because I am one." Alex whispered. "And … this is stupid." Her mind started going back to Jay. "I shouldn't be here with Scott."

"And I shouldn't be here with Ellie."

"Jay should be here." Alex explained, making it clear that she didn't have feelings for Gianni this way. "I'm not interested in you."

"I get it, but why continue to sleep with me?"

"Why … I guess I wanted to piss Jay off and it just felt right."

"What are you feeling now?"

"Honestly Gianni? I think it's supposed to be like this. How it is. For some reason, Jay's not here, but you are and … this is so weird." She laughed. "We're having this 'deep' conversation on the dance floor and beating around the bush."

"What is it that you want to say?"

"For one, I shouldn't be here. But besides that, I'm totally stuck on Jay, you and Manny have got this chemistry thing going on and our dates… are two seconds from hooking up." Alex chuckled. "Look at them." Gianni turned around to see Ellie and Scott hand in hand.

"Maybe you're right about some things, but I am not stuck on Manny." He answered.

"You are, but you don't realize it yet." Alex retorted. "I was just like that too. When someone comes and tries to take her away, you'll be so angry and you don't know why and then you'll start to drift apart but she'll always be in your thoughts."

"I don't know what to say to that." Gianni whispered.

"I have to find him." Alex breathed to herself, ceasing to dance. "And tell him." He looked at Gianni. "Thank you … for this…"

* * *

Alex searched for Jay everyday, but it was a lost cause. He had disappeared from her life, but surprisingly her life was of a mess than when he first left. Her mom was doing better, Dante was paid off, Ellie was out of her life for good, and Alex was making her goals a reality.

She had applied for five different schools and had already been accepted to three of them. It was almost easy to forget about Jay in the mix of all the good things that were happening to her. Thinking about "the plan" brought that reality back into her mind.

The plan was for the two of them to make it out of Toronto and go to college together… now, here Alex was packing up boxes of her old hand-me-downs and used goods in hopes of starting a new pathway at Madonna University.

Graduation proved to be Jayless as was every other day of her life for the past four and a half months. There was only thing left to do. Get over him, like Marco said.

"You're having a Jay moment again aren't you?" Marco wondered, sitting on one of her suitcases and trying to zip it close. "This here … is not working."

"I don't want to show up with a million boxes and plastic bags. What kind of impression will that make?"

"You care about your reputation?" Marco laughed. "Wow Alex, you've really changed. You're becoming a … normal Canadian girl."

"I am just trying to stay out of the trailer park for the remainder of my life. Government assisted housing, dealing illegal substances, etc, etc … I want out." Alex sighed. "You suck as a Jay substitute."

"Ditto. You're nothing like Ellie." Marco answered back.

"Was that an insult or…"

"Actually you guys are a lot alike which makes this whole feud ridiculous. You're fighting over a guy that neither of you has feelings for."

"But I'm dating him." She laughed. "Ridiculous or what?"

"Fate. You and Gianni work. Jay bailed. Forget him. Your first is hard to get over, but I've been Dylan-free for … two weeks now." Marco declared proudly.

"Mr. Almighty two-weeks sober tell me that it gets easier that I'll stop having these dreams about him and that I'll stop calling and texting, and being a pathetic needy female."

"You will. But be prepared. When you've got everything balanced and working out, that's when he'll come back."

Alex nodded. It happened to Jisela, her mom, plenty of times. The difference was that Jay wasn't poison. He could see through her bull shit, all of it.

"Mr. Almighty, I think I need more of your guidance. Do you feel like dropping me off at Madonna University?"

"That's if Mr. Magiano doesn't mind."

"Bring Ellie if you want." Alex shrugged. "And Scott. Whatever will make you feel comfortable … thanks Marco."

"For?"

"Rocking my life back on track."

"It was all you the entire time."

* * *

(A/N: I am completely trying to finish this story in one more chapter!! Hopefully, by the first week of August you should see my Degrassi fic come to an end. Make sure to review. --NL)


	20. One Day We’re Having a Place of Our Own

* * *

**One Day We're Having a Place of Our Own**

* * *

**A few weeks later…**

"What is it that you want?" Alex asked in her normal annoyed voice, picking up the phone the way she had been doing for months.

"Open your door."

Alex hung up the phone, rolling her eyes, and unlocking the front door to see a tall, rugged Italian dude staring her straight on. God, he looked sexy.

"You should've called before you drove down here. I'm busy." She explained, trying to finish the cupcakes for the bake sale. Being in student government meant that when Heather Sinclair backed out of the school bake sale for the next week, her only other option was to do it herself.

"Mmm. Smells good." Gianni walked towards the kitchen.

"Stop while you're ahead." Alex answered, getting a pot holder ready to take out the next batch. Whoever said being a homemaker was emotionally fulfilling was a big fat liar. The hot, sticky heat of the oven, and standing up the entire time … it sucked.

"No sharing?" Gianni wondered, reaching for one of her finished products.

"Now that will cost you." She answered, taking out the cupcakes and placing them on the counter.

"How much?" Gianni asked, closing the gap between him and Alex.

"A measly little kiss won't do it." She answered as Gianni proceeded to kiss her anyway.

"How about a series of measly kisses that make you want to jump all over me right here, right now?"

"Look, I'm really busy…" Alex started, but she could tell something was up with Gianni so she quickly switched gears. "You only come over here and do this weird foreplay thing with me when something is messed up in your life. What is it? Lost another baseball game?" She joked insensitively.

"No, it's some serious shit this time." He sat down, as the mood turned sour.

"Meaning what? How serious?"

"Serious enough to keep me out of university next year so I can help take care of moms."

"What? What about the baseball full ride thing? You're gonna just walk out on that?" Alex wondered, sitting beside her "boyfriend", placing a hand on his knee.

" I don't have a choice. Ma is really sick … like cancer fatal sick and I can't go so far away from her and know that she's dying a little every day."

"But isn't university your dream?"

"Moms is a part of my dream." Gianni explained as he and Alex sighed simultaneously.

"Okay … then there must be another way. Maybe you can take a couple of courses at the University of Toronto until then. If you need help, I'll do whatever I can. I really--"

"It's a lost cause." Gianni placed his head in his hands. "Besides, I've already got a job lined up in construction."

"You do not. Gianni … don't sell yourself short." Alex begged as he just shrugged it off.

"Minor detour."Gianni responded Alex hugged him tightly.

"Now I completely hate you."

"Why because I won't be a college grad?"

"No because you're doing this stupid sentimental shit on me."

"It makes you want to cry too, doesn't it?" He asked.

"No. Hell no!" Alex added with a small smirk because she knew that she did care a lot more than she wanted to about this loser, but they kept coming back to each other.

As if to validate their 'relationship, she said, "God, I don't care about how your life sucks. There's only one thing I want from you." Alex leaned in, nibbling on Gianni's lip a little and then looking up at him to take the lead.

He took her into his arms, molding their two bodies together, removing his shirt which caused Alex to suddenly pull away and release some of the intensity.

"I'm busy." She looked at him playfully. "Baking, remember?"

"Oh … you mean this?" Gianni yanked the cupcake he held earlier, smearing a huge part of icing onto Alex's neck and then proceeding to remove it.

"No fair." She mumbled, spreading the blue icing over the top of Gianni's chest, hungrily. Eventually she gave into the lust the two of them had been feeling for one another.

* * *

**

"Before you say anything … don't." Manny whispered, not believing that she had flown back out to L.A. to find Craig. They just kept doing this back and forth mouse thing that made no sense. "I need to say this … I don't think I can keep going on day by day, knowing that I've ruined your life, your career … everything." She sighed.

"Why would you say that? Manny are you … okay?" Craig wondered, thinking that she was talking about committing suicide. "Feeling guilty is no reason to kill yourself."

"Kill myself? Okay, that is completely un-Manny-like." She explained. "I'm saying that I can handle us not being together and us being in the same town, but you being in LA and me in TO … it doesn't work."

"So you're dumping my friendship?"

"No. I'm enrolling in grade 12 here, in Los Angeles. There are more opportunities for girls like me and since I've got the ball rolling already with our 'relationship' it's time."

"Tell me you're kidding." Craig chuckled. "Manny, I just sent a letter of resignation over to my record company. Once they receive that I'll be sued and owe them millions … I was planning on starting my solo career in Canada, to be closer to you."

Manny looked down and laughed. "Oh no. We just both threw away our lives for each other only to … we've got to get that letter back." She explained, taking Craig's hand and running out of the door.

"Wait, do you even know where we're going?" Craig wondered, smiling at the prospect of this working out.

"No, but we're going to fix it…"

"But what about Canada? If you want to stay there, we don't have to do this." He offered selflessly.

"But I want to. I'm over going to Degrassi and dealing with the drama. There's nothing for me there anymore and as much as I'll miss Toronto, and Emma … it's nothing compared to how much I'm going to miss being with you." She admitted, taking his hand in hers. "I want to be with you Craig. Whatever that means, wherever I have to go, I'll do it." She kissed him suddenly. "For you."

* * *

***

"Wow, with a house like this you should be a first class snob." Ellie commented, walking around the living room and absorbing everything. It was almost overwhelming.

"Yeah, well it's not like it's mine…" Scott shrugged it off, heading upstairs.

"Do I get a tour?" She wondered, excited about this new thing with Scott … whatever it was, she liked it.

"Uhh … maybe later …" His voice trailed off as he ran up the stairs, looking around nervously before walking back down the stairs, beckoning for Ellie to follow his lead with an outstretched hand.

"Looking for someone?" Ellie joked, taking his hand as the two of them ran up the steps together.

"No. Just checking to see if step-mom was home."

"And the verdict is?"

"It's just me and you." Scott answered, picking up his CDs and trying to pick out a good one as Ellie sat down at his desk, waiting patiently.

" Are you plotting and planning something here Scott? If you are let me say that I'm not like Alex Nunez, at all so whatever you're scheming, don't bother."

"It's not what you're thinking." Scott replied simply with a shrug, placing a CD into the player. "I know that you write reviews with Caitlin Ryan and I wanted you to take a listen to this group." He handed her the CD cover. "What do you think?"

"Give me a chance to listen…" Ellie responded, noticing how hypnotizing the drum beats and the bass guitar was. "Wow … this is amazing."

"Glad you think so. It's a band I've discovered and … I think they can make it big. They're lyrics are amazing. Their style unheard of--"

"What qualifies you to be a talent scout?" Ellie wondered, half-joking.

"I know what sounds good. I know what's out there and I have the money to make it happen."

"You have it or your dad does."

"Same thing." Scott shrugged it off. "But I believe in this band. O2 … they can make it without all the over-advertising … so review them?"

"I don't know … I think they're interesting but the public may not get them. They're no All-American-Rejects or Sum 41. They're on a completely different field." Ellie explained passionately.

"Exactly." Scott moved closer to her, now on his knees at her feet. "Don't make me beg. I have no shame." He smiled, removing Ellie's black boots.

"Wait … what are you doing?"

"It's a surprise." He smiled mischievously.

"Whatever you're planning won't work. I'm wearing tights."

"Then take them off." He added suggestively. "Sorry Ellie … I didn't mean it that way. It's just--"

"I'll be right back." She answered, heading to the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom.

As Ellie left to close the door, Elaine opened the front door. Scott's heart sank. He remembered how he had rejected her last night and the night before and … every night since he had started to take this Ellie thing seriously.

There was something brewing between the two of them, but no titles had been agreed upon. They were just friends who shared this intense chemistry that just seemed to grow stronger and stronger.

"Scotty!" Elaine yelled first sweetly and then later agitated. Scott tried to think of an escape plan, but with Ellie here, that was impossible. He just sat on his bed with his head between his hands, trying not to panic.

"Didn't you hear me calling?" She appeared in his doorway as Scott wondered what was taking Ellie so long. "I went to the tanning bed today and got all the suit lines smoothed out. Want to see?" Elaine asked, tugging at the side of her thong bikini.

"No thanks." Scott turned away from her as Elaine walked over to him and Ellie opened the door.

"You didn't tell me you had company."

"What's going on here Scott?" Ellie wondered suspiciously, now feeling stupid with a pair of black tights in her left hand while this obviously older women had two butt cheeks open and bare for the world to see.

"Nothing." He stood up, looking directly at Ellie.

"Are you two sleeping together?" She caught on quickly, all of the pleasantness about this trip fading. "Who is she?"

"My step mom and I'm not sleeping with her."

"Of course not." Elaine agreed just to keep up appearances.

"No. I'm serious Elaine. You don't get to touch me, look at me, and say anything that would suggest I was anything more than a son to you."

"Scott what--" Ellie chimed in.

"No more coming into my room late at night, putting drugs and shit in my food, no more--" He broke down, pushing past Elaine angrily and running down the steps in shame.

"Scott wait!" Ellie called after him. "Wait! What was that?" She asked once they had gotten out of the house.

"I understand if you want nothing else to do with me." He kept his voice thin and narrow, looking down at the ground, his back turned to Ellie.

"Why would I not … just tell me what's going on here."

"Elaine, she comes to visit me at night. She--"

"Molests you." Ellie finished for him as Scott just nodded. She rushed over to him so that they were close enough to hug and whispered, "It's not your fault."

* * *

**

**Months later…**

Jay had backed off and left Alex alone, just like he had planned, and now that senior year was over, he just had to see her and find out everything he missed. The easy way to this was to talk to that del Rossi kid until he slipped up, which he did.

Madonna University is where Alex said she'd go and this was where she was now …

Jay was looking out for Alex. There were so many people here, but he would know her long wavy dark-brown hair anywhere. Only, he didn't see it. Del Rossi claimed that she would be here and this was her new home, but suddenly Jay wasn't buying it.

How could she possibly afford anything so … how could she afford anything? Money was her worst enemy. Nonetheless, Jay continued to search the crowd until he got tired of looking like he was looking for someone. He stashed himself in the kitchen of the dorm he'd snuck into until he could think of a good plan.

He could always have fun and meet someone else in a nanosecond, but Jay wasn't here to pick up girls or to cheat anyone out of their "hard earned" money. No. The only reason he was here was to talk to Alex and explain everything to her.

His hand scanned over the letter in his back pocket to make sure that it was still there. It was, and with it came the good news. Jay started to take a beer from the kitchen island until he heard giggling and saw two people run into the kitchen.

"Did Marco put you up to this?" He heard Alex's familiar voice as he dashed to the nearest corner, watching the duo from afar.

"I wanted to check up on you."

"You mean check in and make sure that I haven't sound some cool, intelligent college boy to replace your loser ass." Alex answered as Jay continued to watch. Who was she talking to? Gianni turned a little, enough for Jay to see, which really put him in a fury. Gianni Magiano???

"Ouch. You really go for the heart, don't you?"

"Every time." She answered back. "And you completely ruined the surprise. I was going to go and change what I'm wearing--"

"Why, so you could be dressed like a girl?" He joked as she bumped him with his hip.

"I'm wearing your clothes. Shouldn't that be flattering enough?" Jay started to tune out their conversation as he noticed the lessening of space between them. Alex was kind of leaning on Gianni who was wrapping his arms around her waist.

They looked totally … together, which was bad news. Gianni and Alex having sex was bad enough, but for them to be lovey-dovey and sleeping together … Jay really wanted to have a repeat performance of the last time he saw them together, when he beat the hell out of Magiano.

Before the two could start making out too much, Jay emerged from the shadows.

"Little bow peep has found her sheep." Jay recited lamely, but it was enough to get Alex's attention.

"Jay? OH MY GOD!!" She screamed, running and collapsing into the arms of her once-lover. Alex held onto him tightly, kissing the side of his face, her legs wrapped around his body. Jay gave Gianni a triumphed look, reveling in the feeling of Alex so close to him after so long. It was a good reunion, that was until Alex realized exactly what Jay's return meant.

"You ASSHOLE!" She yelled, as her feet hit the ground again. This time, Alex couldn't resist the urge to slap him. "Where the hell have you been?"

Jay didn't bother answering, rather he looked at Alex in admiration. She had really done it. She was in university, broke poor and she'd made it.

"You're not going to get off by ignoring me. Jay, where have you been?" Alex wondered, tears welling in her eyes. As soon as she noticed it, she rolled her eyes which seemed to make them disappear for a while.

"In Toronto."

"You're lying. I can over to your house countless times. I called you an insane amount of times, I talked to Emma who was equally confused about your whereabouts as I was, and I searched and searched for you, thinking you were dead."

"Wow." Jay cracked a huge grin. "You really care about me."

"Don't be stupid Jay." Alex rolled her eyes. "You walked out of my life during the most crucial time. I haven't seen you for nearly a year and all you can tell me is that you've been in Toronto."

"Sorry I haven't been as busy as you but--"

"Busy? What are you talking about?" Alex crossed her hands over her chest defensively.

"You're making it with Gianni now? Nice." Jay muttered, waiting for a reaction from Alex. Wait for it. Wait for it …

"Don't judge me." She shook her head, uncrossing her arms. "You weren't there Jay what was I supposed to do?"

"Tell me how you progressed from bed buddies to a real couple. Now that sounds like an interesting story. And also, did he make his way back to you after being rejected by Ellie again?"

"Shut up Jay." Alex raised her voice as Gianni walked over to her side.

"Are you okay babe?" He wrapped his arm around Alex, instinctively.

"She's fine." Jay smiled. "So tell me, how long did you pursue Ellie Nash until you decided she was too much of a challenge … and what lead you back into Alex's bed?"

"I said shut up." Alex muttered again as Gianni braced himself for major drama.

"Dude, I think it's best if you just leave."

"You want me to leave." Jay nodded. Directing his attention to Alex, he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"Right now … yes, but how will I know if you'll come back."

"See that's the double-edged sword isn't it? Me being here makes you question your relationship with Gianni, but me leaving could mean you seeing the last of me."

"Look, stop playing games and take a hike." Gianni butted in again, but this time it was Alex who responded.

"Just let me talk to him first, then I'll make him leave." She compromised as her boyfriend gave her a passionate kiss to reiterate the fact that Alex was with him and not Jay.

"You'll make me leave? Hmm." Jay leaned against one of the kitchen counters, pensive.

"Jay … why would you just leave me like that? What would make you think…"

"This here. Look at the outcome. You're here at university like you said you would be. From rags to riches."

"I don't believe that for a second. Are you in trouble?" Alex wondered, suddenly forgetting her anger and allowing herself to care about Jay again.

"Maybe … you see this woman that I'm completely into has moved onto this douchbag--"

"Jay." Alex smirked. "I'm having a party celebration. Tonight isn't the night to--"

"Deal with me? I know. Let's meet up again."

"Will you actually be there this time?"

"Give me the time and place and … you'll find out."

* * *

**

Alex was nervous. Actually nervous didn't fully explain it. How could someone just walk back into your life after being absent for so long, and expect to fill the same space as they used to. The bad part was that Alex actually wanted it to be the way it was, minus Emma.

She paced back and forth, forth and back trying to make sense of the fact that Jay was at Madonna University in the middle of October and he was here to see her. Alex marveled how he got here, found her, and if he would actually show up. It was Monday, after all of her classes and Alex was dog tired.

Today was supposed to be her day off and she was supposed to be spending it with Gianni, lying in bed naked together, kissing and enjoying each other, but she couldn't. She was waiting for Jay even though she wouldn't get to see Gianni again until after the New Year.

"You look worried. Pensive much?" Jay asked, walking towards her in the student center. "You sure this is the best place to do this?"

"Why the hell are you here and why the hell did you leave me?"

"I'm here for you and I left for you."

"Bull shit."

"Real shit." Jay shot back. "I'm like a poison to you. You come to me knowing exactly what you're going to get—heartache, drama, the works—but I always draw you back. I really wanted you to get your diploma. You deserved it because you didn't fuck up. I fucked up. I kicked that little shit's ass—"

"For me." Alex interrupted.

"So what? When you were talking to me about university and all that interior decorating shit I knew you had dreams. Dreams Alex like I never heard from you before. I couldn't take that away from you, but I couldn't be around to remind you of my 'righteous' deed and guilt you to drop out so … I left. It's simple."

"That doesn't sound like you. I don't believe it."

"You don't have to, but I'm here now because I once promised you that I'd be here in college."

"I don't know what to say about any of this because it's so unlike you … you always have a scheme or a plan that involves stealing or someone else's demise. You don't help _people_. You help yourself."

"I only help people that matter, people that I might somehow possibly have love for." He skirted around the dreaded four-letter-word.

"So you show up now to torment me about what an ungrateful bitch I've been and why couldn't I have waited for you? I'm sorry Jay, but you weren't there. Gianni was and … you're full of shit … you could've called or e-mailed. Sent me a text message, a letter--"

"I did, almost. It's here." Jay pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. It looked thin at first, but when Alex took the paper it was much thicker than she had imagined. "Read it." He started to walk away.

"Is that all you have to say? Read it and walk away?"

"You want me to stay? I'm flattered." Jay joked wanting to cross that line so badly and touch her. "I respect your relationship with Gianni so I won't try anything, not intentionally."

"You respect it?"

"I can grow to respect it." He corrected himself. "You always sucked at picking guys."

"I got hung up on you forever--"

"What about now? Are you still hung up on me?" He asked as Alex blushed and looked away.

"Eh … so so." She smiled. "But I'm more pissed than anything else."

"Which is why I was trying to leave earlier. I know you want to get back to Gianni and get the action going on which is why--"

"You know wrong. I'm right where I want to be … more or less." Alex just stared at Jay for a while and then sighed. "I won't dump Gianni for you if that what you're asking. He manned up for me and he's going through some heavy shit. I can't leave him right now."

"I'm not asking you to… just don't shut me out." Jay offered standing up again.

"Why do you keep trying to leave?"

"I'm not. I'm heading over to Subway and I wanted to see if you were hungry."

"Subway? You're kidding right?"

"Yeah. I'm a meat and potatoes kinda guy." He responded, Alex walking dangerously close to her ex, of many times over, their fingertips brushing by one another's, but it couldn't accurately be called hand holding…

* * *

(A/N: Most of this has been done for a while … I don't remember for how long, but but it's completed before 2009 which is awesome and I hope you've been loving it and you love the ending. **Want to know why Jay wrote in the letter to Alex? **I might do a **SPIN-OFF** about **Alex and Jay** and **Ellie and Scott** if that what's you want. Let me know if you're interested in your review. –NL)


	21. One: Sweetest Thing I’ve Ever Known

**Hiding**

Summary: what happens after Double Standard, a _sequel _of sorts. (It will be called 'Hiding' for now) ... Alex and Jay based, this is a very _rough _cut of what I have so far. When I've fully recovered, I'll be working on my fics again.

Lyrics: Lauryn Hill "Sweetest Thing"

* * *

**Chapter One: Sweetest Thing I've Ever Known**

* * *

"You're trying to get me in trouble and it's not working." Alex said to Jay who was walking so close to her that they were almost knocking into one another. "No seriously, cut it out." She said in between laughs as Jay bumped her with his hip. He laughed back.

"Are you telling me that Gianni would get pissed off because I got you your favorite ice cream and your favorite junk food and--"

"He's always pissed at you. That fact that you're alive and _here _makes him question things."

"Like your relationship?"

"And I don't want that to happen. I've got a really good thing going on with him and I don't want you to ruin it Jay." She scolded.

"I won't … I'll just test it out a little. If your relationship can survive me, then you deserve to have him."

"Whatever you're planning, quit while you're ahead. We're solid." Alex responded, rushing to finish off her ice cream, leaving remnants of chocolate all over her mouth.

"You have something right … there." Jay took a napkin, seizing the opportunity to reach for mouth and tucking her hair behind her ears before doing so.

"Jay …" Alex warned, but she continued to look at him. The two stood there looking at each other so intensely that the chemistry between them was undeniably present.

"Let me just…" Jay leaned in as Alex stood still, frozen in place. What if he kissed her? What if she kissed him back? What if… Her thoughts stopped running in **varied **directions once Jay moved closer to her lips, then past her chin, jaw, and to her ear. "Solid huh?"

"Idiot." She grumbled, yanking the napkin from his hand and rubbing it all over her mouth to remove the chocolate.

"I had you."

"You wish. I was testing you to see if you knew what it meant to be a friend." She shot back, not losing her cool at all which made Jay question whether or not he had actually gotten to her.

* * *

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me here." Ellie said as she stood up to greet Scott. She studied his face closely, looking for some indication of … anything, but Scott wasn't even looking at her at all.

"It's the least I can do after--"

"Going to school overseas. How was Paris?"

"It sucked." Scott responded with a small smile. "I went away, but all I was reminded of was the same stupid Elaine shit." He nearly pounded his fists on the table in frustration, shaking his head.

"But at least you've got college, right?" Ellie reached for his hands instinctively. Scott looked up, startled, but then let himself be comforted by her.

"How can you even stand to look at me? I can't even get past what I've done. I disgust myself--"

"Shh. It's okay." Ellie began. "I know it's not your fault and I'm glad that you're back."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but it's really bittersweet. It's the end of the semester and you're back but it's almost time to go back."

"Are you saying that--"

"I'm saying that … I think I might want to start something with you Scott. And I'm thinking that it might be setting myself up to get hurt but I'm willing to try, if you are." She offered as Scott nodded, neglecting to mention that Ellie had not been the only girl on his mind while he was away. In fact, he had run into a couple of old girlfriends from the Horizon school that had kept him pretty occupied…

* * *

"So tell me just how good is Gianni in bed?" Jay asked as Alex lay down beside him, looking at the starry sky above them.

"You are not allowed to ask that." She nudged him, taking a bite of Twizzlers to avoid having to answer more questions.

"Why not? Maybe we can compare notes. I'll tell you what Emma did that really--"

"Too much info. Okay? I'm trying to be cordial with you. We're not friends. I don't want to know what you do or whom you do it with?"

"Well, prior to hearing you say that I wasn't doing anything with anyone … but if you don't care then I'll drop that." Jay offered, trying to get to Alex and make her hurt a little.

She turned on her side to face him. "You don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"I know you Jay …" Alex stopped herself before she made things more awkward than they needed to be. "Look, you can date whomever you want. You can have sex with every girl in my building. Every girl in the school and I wouldn't give a damn. It's harsh, but it's true. I'm into Gianni."

"And you've never had feelings for more than one person at a time?"

"Gianni means everything to me right now Jay. Don't spoil it." She responded, turning back to face the sky.

"I won't." He muttered, turning on his side to get a better look at Alex. In the dark he could see the faint outline of her face, the curve of her lips … he could see that she was frowning and that he had done something to piss her off.

Jay wanted to desperately to explain it to her and to make sure that she got it, but he couldn't get that vulnerable with her tonight. Instead, he reached for the side of her hair and tucked it behind her ear so that he could get a better look at her.

Alex turned to look back at him with a sigh. "You're going to make this really difficult, aren't you?"

"I'm a persistent asshole." He responded.

"I know." Alex let herself fall closer towards him, eventually resting her head on his arm. There was just enough space between them that they weren't cuddling … not _quite_.

When Alex woke up the next morning she was surprised to be sitting on the man-made beach, wrapped in arms that didn't belong to Gianni. "Jay … Jay…" She nudged him, but he continued to sleep. "Jason!"

"What the hell?"

"Get up. You've gotta take me back. I have a pledge meeting I'm going to be late for."

"Here take them." Jay handed Alex the keys, rolling onto his stomach and starting to go back to sleep.

"Jay, just get up. I can't leave you here... **TBC**

**(a/n: Review. --NL) **


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